Quote for the Week!

Quote for the week:

"Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply.
If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.

If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.

If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

So - if you give her any crap, you can expect a ton of shit."

WW :)

PS. A special thank you to Pabsters for that cute lil email!

Hump Day?

Wednesday, hump day, or not...

You decide!

WW :)

Point Blank, NO SHOOTING!

Being slightly aloof and withdrawn these days; typical Saskatchewan manic neurotic delusional woman, I guess.

When things hurt, I cocoon myself from everything. Like many others I'm simply preserving myself, saving what tiny morsels are left of my soul.

The health issues tossed me for a loop. The tragically tired; ZIP energy sucks.

Christmas, the time of beautiful glowing lights, crisp white snow, adorable children so very excited for the holidays approaching. Yet, I cry. Just once, when curled safe in my sweet husbands arms. Then, I poured, sobbed tears. Christmas, a bitter sweet time every year.

Son rolled the car - FREAKED me out. That was also the night I decided Ativan is EVIL. No more! I only had 15 "anxiety pills" - 15 too many I'd say.

Feel it, deal with it, get over it... Shit, it's been going around for centuries, I think I can - I think I can - I think I can...

I don't turn on my cell phone, I don't answer the house phone. Not too busy at work this month therefore I'm not getting out very much (which I really don't mind as I'm definitely a homebody). I teach a class - "turned on for my viewing audience". I finish a class, "turned off and totally drained".

I have become comfortably numb.

I sit. Sometimes I sit and stare. And in a good moment I sit, stare and think. I try not to do the latter as often on days-weeks-months like now. It's all perverted, my distortion of reality off kilter. See, I can type perversion and not even think of anything funny. Well, NOW I can and I'm smiling... chuckling a bit even.

Oh Lord help me, I even watched Oprah yesterday. Hey, did you know in Mauritania I am truly a Goddess! The men love their women fat, divorced, with stretch marks and thick ankles! Anyone who debates the existence of God, pfffft, are retarded.

I'm a dork. A loved, special (Pabsters even said so!) person :)

My sister's emotion expressed to me about loving me "so much", always gives me a lift. I really do care what she thinks. Weird, I'm five years older than she. Still, she mentions how I may just be her hero and I fight the tears.

Seamus, reminding me several times a day of his love for me is truly a blessing. Someone really, REALLY does love me, I am that desired woman to a handsome sexy man. His touches (gropes ;)) and his loving manner along with his well defined arm space just right for a hug or cuddle - wow, I'm indeed a lucky kid.

Friends, family, hubby, kidlettes all know this pattern of seclusion I enter every so often. Not that THAT makes it right. But, it does allow me to gather the courage to get back up on my horse and ride into the sunset, over and over and over again :)

I am feeling better already, must have been the awesome sex twice last night or sexy orgasmic morning sex. OR, it could be ... ah never mind ;-)

WW...

Miles Per Gallon

37 miles per gallon

Created by The Car Connection

How Beautiful...

How Beautiful...

My Appointments DONE - FINISHED - COMPLETE!

TEST RESULTS:
I DO, AFTER ALL have TWO boobs :)

They have located a mass on my right breast (her name is Cystella, we've become close ;) but they feel at this time it's all good.

I do have to go for a follow up mammogram in 6 months time to see if there is any change, progression, etc in Cystella.

My blood tests reveal I'm anaemic. No shit, you don't say? Now someone might believe me when I'm explaining how tired I've been. I'm really not THAT lethargic or lazy, really :)

I am on some medication to raise my iron levels. And hopefully energy levels follow soon!

AS QUOTED IN MY EMAIL TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY:

"My cholesterol great, no risk of diabetes, etc.. I'm pretty freaking amazing; in fact I think the test results said something EXACTLY like that: "This patient Wonder Woman is FREAKING AMAZING". Then I saw a gold star or something like that beside my report card ;-) Okay, so there you go, the scoop. "

And that darn pulled tooth, infection of the bones under the gums seems to be gone! Apparently I am not a force to be reckoned with, after all ;-)

WW :)

PS. When the desire, energy resurfaces (and trust me it's inevitable - evil smirk) I will be back to reporting live to you about everything you don't really wanna know nor care the slightest bit about! Until then, hang loose! Heh.

Remembrance Day

Fuck Me It's Friday!

As stated so eloquently above...

I'm not really that mysterious, now am I?

WW ;)

Drugged Up and Nowhere to Go...

PS. I hate everyone, today.

Remember that October goal list (October 4th to be exact). Yeah, well, you all suck for not mentioning to me that perhaps a gazillion (my word) appointments would perhaps be "over shooting" and remind me of the moderation thing.

I had a tooth pulled today. A BIG MOTHER FUCKING ASSED TOOTH.

Steps for me to go to the dentist:

make appointment,

get my prescription for Xanax,

take Xanax 1 hour before appointment,

go to appointment,

hear the dentist explaining to me how the freezing may "pinch" a bit (btw - fuck him too!),

hear my tooth crack,

feel my head being pulled from side to side,

TRY TO KEEP BREATHING AND RELAX (riiiiight),

feel him popping/scraping the obvious infection surrounding the not-there-anymore tooth,

attempt not not gag or vomit after tasting the blood in my mouth.

I then was written out a prescription for 292s (not nearly strong enough dammit!)and antibiotics. I sat whilst my husband ran over the pharmacy to have them filled; I was still a bit woozy from the Xanax and trauma! The pain began BEFORE I left the office. I promptly took two 292s and am doing what I was told to, nothing. Not even sleep. I need to hold pressure on the vacant spot. I will drain for a while due to me not having stitches. The reason for the lack of sutures was the infection, it needs to drain.

I'm starving, not to death.

I'm sore, death is a rose coloured sunglasses idea right about now.

It freaking hurts, a lot (two words).

I taste a blood bath with ever swallow - gags.

Sigh.

So, I bet you still want dirty scantily dressed women with this post of my obvious suffering, huh?

BITE ME!

I Couldn't Eat Another Mouthful!

Just one more bite, please!

It's Monday, the work week has begun, again. My goal is not to overwhelm you with "should, could, needs, etc" however, just one more thing...

LUNGES!



Huh? - Add em to your walk or your fitness routine.

Why? - These stretch the muscles in your lower body and increase flexibility in your hip flexors, but lunges also strengthen your quads and glutes.

Eh? - They give you stronger legs, a tighter ass, stretch out what only wild sex only could previously do for you, and a larger muscle group which means you use up a few more calories ;-)

Yeah, well I would but... I have bad knees, ankles, hips! I can't lunge. Oh, how I wish I could though. I used to. Loved em.

Uh Huh, riiiight! - One more great benefit of lunges is not even general leg strength (Which you do get!), but rather, the lateral core, hip, knee, ankle, and foot stability challenge (Oh, look it here, everyone could benefit from a few lunges, interesting.). This is a great way to increase lateral stability challenge and improvement.

How? - Jodi explains "The Lunge" very well and you will definitely swallow that mouthful! Ps. You so won't look like Jodi just by doing a few extra lunges during your day, sorry :)

Okay, that's all for now.

Have fun lunging-a-round..

WW ;)

A funny for you...

The Penis Study


The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft.

After 1 year and $180,000, they concluded that the reason that the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the US published the study, the French decided to do their own study. After $250,000 and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Canadians, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks, a cost of $75.46, and 2 cases of beer, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting himself in the forehead.

Buuhahahahahahaaaaaa...

Halloween, It's All About...

Role playing, VERY similar to Halloween these days. Today, I was thinking back to whether I was ever something frightening for Halloween. Uh, no I don't believe I have been...

As a child I was: A Hoser (for anyone other than a Canadian, click this), one of the members of KISS the rock band, and seriously that is all that I can remember dressing up as, for this awesome sugar induced coma of a day.

As a teenager - young adult I was nothing remotely scary at all, promiscuously sexy, OH YEAH! I have been: Elvira, Sexy Witch, Sexy Pirate, Day (All white, very made up to be most angelic like, well as angelic as one gets in a tight white mini dress :)), Sexy Devil, etc... I'm certain you're sensing my theme, huh? *wink*

I looked for Halloween pumpkin tattoos large enough to cover my nipples, to surprise my husband later! LOL Sadly, I didn't find any. The sales girl, I think I made her day...

Anyhoo, had "The Mammogram" today and an ultrasound too. A regular festival of boob touching. I think I was violated; I think I didn't mind all that much ;) The mammogram wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as I was lead to believe; fucking women creeping the crap outta each other, sheesh. The ultrasound actually hurt more :(

For those who have not had the experience ...yet: A mammogram is like rough sex, in the chestical (my word) region, without dinner or a commitment. Not really anything too terrible, just not something you wanna do weekly. Or do you? *raised eyebrow*

It's probably just a cyst they say. I will know more next week when my NP has the results sent to her office. I'm cool with it all. I was just so damn shit-in-my-pants scared about the procedure. Pathetic when the procedure out worries the worst case scenario in situations like this. We can send people to the moon but can't figure out how to squish a tit without provoking this 'mythical' traumatic experience I was so readily warned about? Pffft.

Wishing you all a spook-tacular Halloween and orgasmic weekend!

WW :)

For All You Sexy Gorgeous Women!

Thrill me, Thursday!

Please?

For All You Big Strong Men

Happy Hump Day!

Advice Column By Walter

(Why men should never write for an advice column...)

Dear Walter,

I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbours daughter.

I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbours daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years.When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much,but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely, Sheila

*******************************

Dear Sheila,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps,

Walter

Have You Ever Wondered?

Hmmm,

"Hand That Rocks The Cradle"

NOT ANYMORE!

Watch out baby!!!

Tasty Tuesday?

Uh yeah, why not?

Tasty Tuesday

Click on 'Tasty Tuesday' link to understand the task at hand/ in mouth/ whatever.

Find something you've never tasted.

Something you want to taste.

Or something you can't remember tasking in a long, long time.

Taste it with your lips.

Lick it with your tongue.

Roll it around in your mouth.

Savour it's taste.

Close your eyes.

Experience the explosion of taste sensations...

Enjoy!

Tasting, tasting, tasting.

Merry Monday

LOVE EM!

I could just eat em up!

Babies.

How can something be so demanding, annoying, selfish not to mention smelly and ULTRAFABULISTIC all at the same time?

I absolutely LOVE all babies!

Tip Of The Day

Lower Back Challenges

Lower back muscles have been given the short end of the stick *wink* in fitness . However, without proper specific back exercises our lower backs aren't going to get any stronger.
Weird eh?

Not really. Muscles work because we work our muscles. A winning combination. If we work a certain muscle/group on a regular basis, it adapts and gets stronger. Muscles work together :)

As an example let us refer to your abdominal muscles. If your tummy muscles are loose not being maintained there is a good chance that the opposing muscles, your lower back muscles, will be weak as well. Conclusion seems to be a flabby midsection with a side of lower back issues.

Ugh, who wants that?

The Tip Of The Day: Superchick/Superman Exercise!

For even more fun, try this on a stability ball!

Just the tip of the ice burg when it comes to maintaining a healthy back. Remember if you use it you won't loose it. And our backs, well, they help us do some of the most amazing "workouts" around. You so know what I mean ;-)

WW

Note

My day began with a sinus head achy thing. I took some sinus head achy medication. My head began to throb. I took some head throb (migraine) medication. I felt better.

My daughter, NOT getting up for school after countless (just being lazy I could probably count 1,2,3,4-scream,5) times being asked to get up and get ready for school as she was going to be late. Not too late, but late enough. AND THEN she mentions not being able to find her binder. So, we looked and looked, searched, did some deep breathing, looked more, again - UGH!

This is the exact note I sent with her this morning :)

************************

Dear Oh Enlightened One,

We (Monkey Bum and I) have been frantically searching our home for her binder. Alas, I have come to the conclusions that A) it really has disappeared B) we have little trickster munchkins living in our home who seem to be playing a joke on us C) she left it at her friends on Friday after school D) we have not looked hard enough.

I apologize for her tardiness.

Thank you and HAVE A GREAT DAY!

Wonder Woman :)

********************

Yeah, I'm this odd, FOR REAL.

Wishing for you all a non retarded brain damage less day!

WW ;)

Have A Good Weekend, Stay Blessed!

PS. And who can resist a cute little lovable pussy :)

PPS. Never forget, always remember... click the title ;)

UPDATE!

Update to the previous post:

A friend will be accompanying me to my mammogram delight on Halloween. Awesome, it's like a freaking festival of fun, kinda ;)

I'm please to report EW did manage to choke down his "excitement" over Pandora's box ...

I actually FAILED at donating blood yesterday. Ugh, double UGH! My iron levels were too low. However, I was still offered a cookie :)

Up, up, up and awaaaaaaaaay,

WW :)

Mammograms R Us

Oy.

Joy just phoned from the Woman's Health Centre with unbelievably awesome news! I'm booked in for a mammogram torture session on Halloween, October 31st at 10:30am in case you'd like to send my way non squishy, comfortable thoughts.

I arranged for my medical physical a few weeks back aware I hadn't had a complete physical in oh, about, ah, 13 years :) Today was the day, and I'm pleased to say my cervix didn't fall out or anything! Everything went decent. As decent as one gets stripped down in front of a complete stranger. The questions were a bit unnerving as well, especially 2 of them made me a bit uncomfortable. However, I can't change the past, and so I did answer honestly to all queries. Everything went swimmingly smoothly until my breast examination, she found a lump, a sore lump I might add. (No worries, I'm cool with it really.) My breasts can be tender at times. The nurse practitioner wants to make sure it's nothing, mentioning that I would be getting a call for an ultrasound. I agreed, again no worries. Finishing my appointment off with some routine blood tests then dashing back to work to perform a bikini waxing.

A morning so complete, unlike one of my very relaxed average days.

Total time of appointment - 1 hour 15 minutes. She was thorough, knowledgeable, kind, straight to the point, non judging, efficient, and soothing. Unlike any physician I've seen. Crazy weird huh?

It's just after noon now and Joy, the receptionist, has informed me of my mammogram appointment.

"Um" I said sounding a bit nervous. "I was told that I would be having a simple ultrasound, I may have misunderstood, however if there is any chance of the ultrasound over the mammogram, I'd gladly rather take the ultrasound..."

She got back to me in lightening speed.

The nurse practitioner took me for much younger, apparently. Anyone over 30 with a "lump" issue is sent for a mammogram. Joy apologized for any miscommunication. Oh well, I guess.

Okay...

Firstly - Yippppppeeeeee @ Looking younger!

Secondly - DAMN @ Not being younger ;-)

Thirdly - F@CK @ A mammogram! Ugh.

This afternoon I am going to get caught up on the overload of dishes lingering around the house after the long weekend. Put a roast in the oven for supper. I have an appointment to donate blood a bit later. And an evening of services to perform (manicure, pedicure, bikini waxing) for a wonderful woman who works out of town, making an evening appointment with me necessary. I'm such a nice person, I swear!

Just another typical Tuesday, perhaps...

Have fun whatever you choose to do today!

WW :)

Gobble .. Gobble .. Gobble

Thanksgiving..

In lieu of it snowing currently,

I thought I'd wish for you a very merry,

Canadian Thanksgiving!

Bloggers in Hiding!

Currently I have read on two separate blogs and suspect on a few others that these blogging people's spouse, family, real friends don't know about their online blogging fun. Everyday friends are not aware such an avenue for your creativity exists? The blogger's identity - their blogging personality - a secret from those closest to them.

What the hell is that about?

If you don't want anyone you know to read what you type, rant, seduce, scream on about - don't freaking write about it! The "true you" can remain hidden if you're that much of a chicken shit. Holy Hannah people, your blog, your ideals, thoughts, beliefs are nothing but lies. Lying to yourself, to those closest to you, to strangers alike.

What type of person is this much of a coward?

Say what you need to say, or don't. The internet, nothing ever dies once it's been put online. Remember that. A tiny slice of advice for you fucktards, would you type what you're about to type/post whilst your wife/husband/grown child sits next to you? Hmmm, didn't think so :)

This may come as a great surprise to many of you and a few who really, REALLY know me as a REAL person are aware - I am who I type I am. Not hidden from anyone or anything. I am who I am, and f!uck you if you don't approve :) Embellish away...

Back to your regular scheduled programming.

TURN OFF THE PORN!