Thursday, May 31, 2007

More Graduation Day Pictures!

Big Bro N Baby Bro ...

Big Sista N Little Sista ...

Dude, it's my Graduation Day!

Smilin Gals!

Handsome N Beautiful ...

Matching Threesome?

Older Woman?! Auntie material - maybe ;)

All the siblings - WOW!

Friday May 25th...Graduation Day!

My eldest son, second child born, Big D celebrated his graduation in style this past Friday.

Oh how proud I am, of him.

A scholarship worth $22, 500.00 was awarded to him to pursue his educational training at the U of S in Saskatoon. He's enrolled into engineering. An honour roll student, enjoying the girlies all that he can, manically hilarious, a party animal, handsome, natural intelligence supreme...

Wow, I reproduce well!

Yeah @ us both!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007


Now, does anyone really disagree with this business policy?
Kinda a win - win situation, no?

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

Carpal tunnel syndrome has become a scourge among today's active and computer literate population. Men, especially, are becoming afflicted with this serious health problem.

To help stamp out carpal tunnel syndrome, new mouse pads have been devised to assist men in their computer operations.

Ergonomically-correct mouse pads such as these will enable men to avoid the pain and suffering associated with this serious health concern.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Ooooh how true it rings...

Brinnnnng, brinnnnnnnnnng, yup, yup, yup....

Thought for the day...

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the informaton he wants...

Monday, May 21, 2007

Word of the Day for Monday, May 21, 2007 insuperable \in-SOO-pur-uh-bul\, adjective:
Incapable of being passed over, surmounted, or overcome; insurmountable; as, "insuperable difficulties."

Sunday, May 20, 2007

The Dee Spot

A step beyond the G-spot, visit...
The Dee Spot!

(In Cut Around the Corner)

Esthetics Specialist

Body & Ear Piercing - Not enough holes in your head/body? I CAN help you!

Pedicure / French Pedicure - Tired, calloused feet? Relax I am to the rescue!

Polish Change - We are expected to change our minds!

Gel Toe Nails - Less chipping, less smudging - be the ultimate in divine!

Pedique Pedicure - The product, the service that's extraordinary...

Reflexology - Touch me, feel me, fix me.

Gel Nails - Can you say 'goddess' like you mean it? Now you can!

Waxing Services - Any hair, any where, any time - BE GONE!

Facials - Cleanse, scrub, moisturize, mmm.

Relaxation Massage - As the name suggests


Revised for shits n giggles...


Wanna moan like you mean it, visit...

The Dee Spot!
(In Cut Around the Corner)

Esthetics Specialist

Body & Ear Piercing - Do you like it when it hurts? Here I am, hurry - before I spank you!

Pedicure / French Pedicure - Ugly, smelly, dry feet scraping across the sheets at night? Maybe your partner has refused your sexual advances lately, maybe it's your feet? Hmmm...

Polish Change - Women, who understands them? And I'm a chick!

Gel Toe Nails - A toe suckingly great time.

Reflexology - Touch me, feel me, lick me, suck me...oh wait I don't...or do I?

Gel Nails - Can you say "blow job whore"?

Waxing Services - Feeling lonely, get a Brazilian job!

Facials - PULL OUT NOW.

Relaxation Massage - Topless, unzipped, warm lotions...





Suggestions for a flyer, anyone?

I would also like to mention that I have been officially open one week tomorrow and everything has been Yankee doodlific thus far.

With pedicure season on it's way, I'm a busy lil beaver..or is that bee?

Continuing with school until mid June in Moose Jaw on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Gas prices are killing me!

Son's graduation is coming up next Friday, May 25th, WOW!

Working at the spa in Regina Fridays and Saturdays until July 1st.

Tummy is getting better every day. Went to mister doctor guy, apparently sex ahead of time didn't hurt a damn thing, I KNEW IT! Good thing I listen to my "little voice". Desperate as it was :)

Wee one decided to join a garage sale adventure, she made nearly $50. AND THEN she spent it buying some summer apparel. Awesome child, I know you were thinking it too :)

Teaching fitness classes Mondays and Wednesdays in full force now, everyone wants to work HARD for bikini season I'm thinking. Currently not able to participate in any strenuous fitness, which enables me to work out my class participants much, MUCH, oh for the love of God, MUCH more ...mauh ha ha ha ha!

Completed the infamous "Brazilian Waxing" - I liked it. This of course is coming from a woman who didn't/doesn't mind sticking needles in nipples...

Beautiful kiddo is returning from Calgary this week for her brothers grad, looking forward to spending time with her. SHREK date, I'm thinking.

When truly is the best time to clean the kitchen, do dishes, fold laundry, etc...

On Saturday, the day began with ... a HUGE smile!


Until I type again...

*blows a kiss*


Fall Classes for Men
by Monday, Oct 30, 2007

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three n ights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

The girls! - Christmas 2004 - Family Picture - The boys! From me to you... Happy Mother's Day!

Paint The Porch

A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassinga nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"

The blonde, with a typical blank ditsy look, quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" the startled husband asked.

"Yes, "the blonde replied, "....and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a ten dollar tip. "And by the way....., " the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."

Women and Men

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time?"

The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Awww, delusionally from me to you...

Life is short. Break the rules. Forgive quickly. Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably. Never regret anything that made you smile!

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

I figured out what I want, my wish list...

Exactly as they appear here - nice firm boobies!

Those taut supple mounds of flesh cost anywhere between $5000-$7000 for the pair. Maybe I should fund raise?

Fundraising T-shirt titles for my new breasts:

  1. Lift up lift up.
  2. Lend a giving hand.
  3. Support WW's cause... and by cause I mean... and by support I mean...
  4. Feeling down, low and bit saggy? ME TOO!
  5. Awww, perk up!
  6. Do your boobs hang low do they wobble to and fro? Man, do I hear ya!

This is a better idea than I had originally thought!


Peanut gallery, hello...

To register or not to register?

Okay, so the thing is we didn't anticipate people wanting to give us gifts for our wedding ceremony. Truly, this isn't a first for either of us and we really didn't expect people's generosity. I keep getting asked where we've registered. We haven't. Anywhere.


Options to this (less than horrific) dilemma:
1 - Get what we get, whether we need it or not.
2 - Do the registry thing somewhere (fun - love shop, funny & practical - Walmart, practical & useful - Home Depot)?

Option 1 is nice as it requires less work now, however, future garage sales might be a bugger ;)

Option 2 is also keen, it does require some man time picking out stuff. Option 2 seems almost rude to me. A wish list, like Christmas, kinda weird.

What to do, what to do...

So true, so true...

Monday, May 7, 2007

Funny conversations...

“Hi Mom.”

“Hi Dear. Did you have a nice weekend?”

“Yeah, it was fun. Boyfriend and I went biking in Central Park. Then we had dinner and-”

“Biking?!! On the street in New York City!!? Did you wear a helmet??!!”

“Uh, no.”

“Don’t you know how dangerous that is!!?”

“Mom, it was fine, really. Anyway then we went to this art gallery–”

“People can die from bike accidents! It happens all the time. I knew this woman once who was in medical school. She was riding her bike to school, and she got hit by a truck–”

“Yeah, anyway, we wanted to see this one art show but it was closed–”

“–can you believe it, a truck! The driver wasn’t paying attention or something and didn’t see her–”

“–but there was this other gallery opening going on and we both figured we’d check it out–”

“–and she was only a week away from graduation–”

“–except that I lost Boyfriend so I ended up wandering around this dark abandoned alley alone in completely flight-prohibitive heels–”

“–and she was killed instantly.”

“–so I ran into the middle of the street and hailed a cab with my body–”

“It was so horrible. She never even got to graduate.”

“–and then I topped the night off by freebasing some homemade crack and performing vaginal gymnastics with ping pong balls that’d been dipped in petri dishes full of Hepatitis C.”

“Yes but what about your helmet!”

Found here at opinionista.

Thanks for the laugh!

Stick Humour

For Crazy Jo!

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Cut Around the Corner - D'Spot


A Man's Touching Story

Sportsman's Double...

I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked okay for a 57-year-old.

We drank a bit, and started to get real friendly and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double. "What's that?" I asked.

"It a mother and daughter threesome," she said.

I said, "No."

We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night.

We went back to her place. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: "Mom, you still awake?"

SPIDER-MAN YouTube Style!

Adventures of Spider-Man!

Dear God:

Why didn't you save the school children at ...
Virginia Tech 04/16/07
Amish Country, PA
Columbine High School
Moses Lake , Washington 2/2/96
Bethel , Alaska 2/19/97!
Pearl , Mississippi 10/1/97
West Paducah , Kentucky 12/1/97
Stamp, Arkansas 12/15/97
Jonesboro , Arkansas 3/24/98
Edinboro , Pennsylvania 4/24/98
Fayetteville , Tennessee 5/19/98
Springfield , Oregon 5/21/98
Richmond , Virginia 6/15/98
Littleton , Colorado 4/20/99
Taber , Alberta , Canada 5/28/99
Conyers , Georgia 5/20/99
Deming , New Mexico 11/19/99
Fort Gibson , Oklahoma 12/6/99
Santee , California 3/ 5/01 and
El Cajon , California 3/22/01?
Concerned Student
Dear Concerned Student:
I am not allowed in schools.
How did this get started?...
Let's see,
I think it started when Madeline Murray O'Hare complained
she didn't want any prayer in our schools.
And we said, OK..
Then ,
someone said you better not read the Bible in school,
the Bible that says
"thou shalt! not kill,
thou shalt not steal,
and love your neighbors as yourself,"
And we said, OK...
Dr. Benjamin Spock said
we shouldn't spank our children
when they misbehaved
because their little personalities
would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem.
And we said,
an expert should know what he's talking about
so we won't spank them anymore..
Then someone said
teachers and principals better not
discipline our children when they misbehave.
And the school administrators said
no faculty member in this school
better touch a student when they misbehave
because we don't want any bad publicity,
and we surely don't want to be sued.
And we accepted their reasoning...
Then someone said,
let's let our daughters have abortions if they want,
and they won't even have to tell their parents.
And we said, that's a grand idea...
Then some wise school board member said,
since boys will be boys
and they're going to do it anyway,
let's give our sons all the condoms they want,
so they can have all the fun they desire,
and we won't have to tell their parents they got them at school.
And we said, that's another great idea...
Then some of our top elected officials said
it doesn't matter what we do in private as long as we do our jobs.
And we said,
it doesn't matter what anybody,
including the President,
does in private as long as we have jobs and the economy is good....
And someone else took that appreciation a step further
and published pictures of nude children
and then stepped further still by
making them available on the Internet.
And we said, everyone's entitled to free speech....
And the entertainment industry said,
let's make TV shows and movies that promote
profanity, violence and illicit sex...
And let's record music that encourages
rape, drugs, murder, suicide, and satanic themes...
And we said,
it's just entertainment
and it has no adverse effect
and nobody takes it seriously anyway,
so go right ahead.
Now we're asking ourselves
why our children have no conscience,
why they don't know right from wrong,
and why it doesn't bother them to
kill strangers, classmates or even themselves.
if we thought about it long and hard enough,
we could figure it out.
I'm sure it has a great deal to do with...

You'll never hear this...

Things you'll never hear in Saskatchewan...

  • Nope, I don't think there's a Reserve around here.
  • I heard the bonspiel was going to be alcohol free.
  • Did you hear Nicole Kidman was spotted in Prince Albert?
  • Duct tape isn't going to fix that.
  • Come to think of it cancel that beer, I'll have a wine spritzer.
  • We don't keep firearms in this house.
  • Is the seafood fresh?
  • Sorry can't help you, I don't know where you could find a VLT.
  • I think John Deere Green looks tacky.
  • No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
  • I think it's fair that Teresa lost the CDN Idol competition, that little Albertan hobbit was just way more talented.
  • Honey, did you mail that donation to P.E.T.A.?
  • So that's a tractor.
  • Perogies? What is that?
  • Why would we need beer? I thought we were just going fishing, (hunting, golfing, for a drive, curling, across the street)
  • Honey, we don't need another dog.
  • Who's Tommy Douglas?
  • So a Co-op's a store? Is there one in this town?
  • Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
  • Could you give me a hand to draw this map. The top and bottom are just straight lines, what bout the sides?
  • I just couldn't find a thing at Canadian Tire today.
  • Over here is our line of tofu meat products.
  • Aw Tim Horton's again, there's a Starbucks down the street.
  • Why would you need a big truck like that?
  • So that's a Buffalo, what's a Bison?
  • Did you remember to change your clock?
  • I was thinking of adding a spoiler to my lowered Honda.
  • Are you going to make it to Saskatoon for the gay parade?
  • I don't think the Roughriders have a chance this year.
  • I've got two cases of Corona for the Grey Cup.
  • Could I please be served in French.
  • I just don't feel like Bingo tonight.
  • Shame about Moose Jaw getting hit by that hurricane. (mudslide,earthquake, volcano, avalanche etc.)
  • So, what phone company are you with?
  • Hey, here's an episode of "Corner Gas" that we haven't seen.
  • I don't have a favorite farm equipment brand.
  • It's just over that hill. (or just around the bend in the hi-way)
  • I'm just going to skip white tail season this year, I can't find any one to tape The View.
  • I'm rooting for the Eskimos to take it.
  • Nope, no more for me, I'm snowmobiling home.
  • Say, Hon, It's getting chilly out, throw a sweater on the poodle would you?
  • I don't think drinking grain alcohol would be a good idea.
  • Oh I just couldn't; Hell, she's only sixteen.
  • I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
  • Duct tape won't fix that.
  • Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
  • I'll have a grapefruit instead of that doughnut.
  • You can't feed that to the dog.
  • Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
  • Spittin' is such a nasty habit.
  • I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
  • Trim the fat off that steak.
  • Cappuccino tastes better than expresso.
  • Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
  • Wrestling's fake.
  • The tires on that truck are too big.
  • What nice body this Merlot has - cheeky, yet subtle.
  • Nope, no more for me. I'm driving tonight.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Proof Update/Updated...

The Glorious Talent: (Back Row) Eriko, Margaret, Wonder Woman, CAST - Jillian-Ruth, CAST - Bob, Cathy, Bonnie. (Front Row) CAST - Ivan, Cori, Shelley, CAST - Jacquie, Tara.


Proof has gone POOF. Four well attended evenings. Four nights filled with tears. No one should ever feel such disparity as Bob Gaites performed on stage for us all.

Well done y'all!

Pssst, interesting how I have my mouth WIDE open, huh? Who'd thunk that one ;)


Psst, try it!

My results:

Personality - Moods

Easy Rider. You're drawn to the drama of a big spectacle and appreciate the unpredictability of nature. You like life rugged and rough around the edges. When it comes to art, you're creative yourself and believe in self-expression. You can see the little masterpieces in every day life - you can be a touch sentimental. As for music, it's the soundtrack to your world. An open road, your favorite tracks - cliches are there to be enjoyed. Your choice of treats reveals an indulgent side to you. A real food lover you like to have all of your cake. <---(Pffft duh, with extra extra icing!)

Personality - Fun

Escape Artist. You like to take any opportunity to keep in shape, your health is really important to you. You are driven and have lots of energy and ambition. For kicks you like to indulge in your great passions. You are probably happy spending time alone, and your drive and curiosity will take you all over the world. When it comes to holidays you taken them as a perfect chance to further yourself - to learn more about the world around you. You like to be immersed in a completely different world and would be really bored just sitting on a beach. <---(Psst this was waaay off...) What grosses you out? Nobody is perfect but some bad habits aren't acceptable.; you realize health is wealth.

Personality - Habits

Junkie Monkey. Even if you have a healthy approach to life, you still have your vices and a craving hunger drives your needs! So you'll super size it , you love convenience and that taste... Your choice of drink shows on the whole you care about your health and make sure you're putting the right stuff in. As for home, your bold personality is reflected in your style. You like to be in surroundings that lift your mood and that wild side to you. <---(Chick-a chick-a bow wow..)

Personality - Love

Home Soul. You are a real home soul. You care deeply about family life and all that comes with it - the love between a parent and child is so special. When you think of freedom you think of being in charge of your direction. The open road and a full tank can take you pretty much anywhere.

Personality Index.

OoooOooooh the insight. And pretty accurate for the most part. The quiz did forget to mention I'm a lover not a fighter ;)

Yes, again, I'm alluding to "getting some"...