No reason...

Other than, doesn't this look like way too much fun?

The Day After...

I did it, it's done!

I'm sore, I hurt.

It was worth it, completely!

What's News & What's Not

• Last week I made a brief 'visit' at the hospital for my pre-operation blood work. I was asked to please lie down, apparently I reeked of anxiety. I explained I rarely faint, I just get "woozy".

She retorted, "I'd feel better if you got comfortable here..." *pointing to the bed*

I did, it all went swimmingly :)
-
They got my blood, pee and an x-ray to boot! And whoever said I'm not a giving person, sheesh...

• I completed my piercing course and absolutely LOVED it! I 'did' real live human flesh piercings.

An eyebrow, a couple of ears, a belly button, nose and female nipples - what a blast!

My 18 year old daughter found my enthusiasm rather dis concerning *smile upon lips* "Mom that's kinda creepy.."

"I KNOW!!!" I exuberantly replied. I like this far too much!

You all know where to go for any piercings now (I knew it was on your minds, "Damn where do I go to get that piercing on my genitals that I've always dreamed of having?")

REMEMBER: safety first, needle in hand - second!

• Fitness classes are on HOLD until Monday April 16Th - I will be back!

• I'm a bit hesitant about surgery tomorrow, I've heard they have often had to reschedule the last appointment of the day due to not enough " OR time". Seamus has been amazing at calming my neurotic self down. "If it doesn't work tomorrow, we reschedule it and go out for a wonderful supper and movie." Now, why didn't I think of that?

• It's raining and chilly. Truth be told, I'm just happy it isn't snowing!

• PROOF is coming along excellently! Performance dates are: April 20th & 21st AND April 27th & 28th in Lipton at the Town Hall :)

• DOH! I typed too soon, IT'S SNOWING!

Oh for ther love of oral sex...argh. Snow, again.

• Hmmm, after surgery I won't want, okay, I won't be able to actively participate in *ahem*. TONIGHT, I get lucky whether I(he) need(s) it or not! WOO HOO!

• Well, that's about all folks. I have my donor card filled out. My request given to Seamus, no blood transfusions! If all goes well (which I know it will) I will be cut from hip to hip, excess skin removed, sewn back up, and sent home that very day with a new, very sexy scar *wink* *wink*...

If you want to send me good thoughts, Thursday March 29th about 1pm, PLEASE send thrusting, passionate, wild, seductive thoughts MY WAY. I'm sure it will enable the BEST dreams imaginable ;)

THANKS!!!

WW

Doctor's Appointment

I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week.

Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.

As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable.

I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?" I didn't respond.

After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.The rest of the day was normal.

Some shopping, cleaning, cooking. After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?"

I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it."

Never going back to that doctor. Ever.

Loverly Thought Provoking

Suggested Reading: Religionships - Counterfeits to True Relationships With God And Those Made in HIS Image

"Love is the tangible expression of an conscious commitment to another being. An expression of our devotion toward Father/Mother/Sibling /Spouse/Child/Friend.

Love is an action. Many times it is the culmination of a series of small and seemingly insignificant choices. Love doesn't happen to us. We "happen" when we choose to love.

The ability to choose to love, to connect and to be part of another person’s life is a gift!"

I found these excerpts over here, (click it) PebbleChaser ...

Just a MaNiC MoNdAy...

Whoa, ohh, ohh, ohh...wish it were Sunday. That's my fun day, whoa, ohh, ohh, ohh. Just a manic Monday!

To make ya chortle heartily...


A blonde's car gets a flat tire on the interstate one day. So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk, takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing on coming traffic.

The life like cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, the traffic became snarled and backed up. It wasn't very long before a police car arrives.

The Officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What is going on here?"

"My car broke down, Officer" says the woman, calmly.

"Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?!" asks the Officer.

And she said....

(This is good...)

(Ready?)

(Remember, she's a blonde...)

"Those are my emergency flashers!" she replied

Steak Blowjob Day!

Found this smiling moment at IndyGuy - go on check it out!

So here it is, 'Canadian Steak Blowjob Day',

March 25Th ...

... that IS TODAY!

Woo hoo, helpful hints for her: Tips

Helpful hints for him: Hints

Okay kids, play fair, have fun and chew before you swallow!

Favorite Topic - SEX!

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX

Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

_________________________________

LOUD SEX

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."
"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"

______________________________

QUIET SEX

Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?"
She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"

______________________________

CONFOUNDED SEX

A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large."
The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected.
"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.
the man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen."

______________________________

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife-Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah," she replies, "when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last."

________________________

WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX

My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight."
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.

_________________________________________

ELDERLY SEX

One night an 87 year old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92 year old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor assisted living apartment . Killing him instantly.
Brought before the court on charge of murder, the judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense. She began coolly, "Yes, your honor, I figured that at 92, if he could have sex .. He could fly."

_____________________

Easter is on it's way, hooray!

Scrambled, anyone?

Creative FLARE!


Jealousy, comes in all shades...

The perfect couple?

23 Things To Do While Recovering From Your Surgery...


1. Pick a foreign accent and talk in it all day.

2. Answer an ad on how to make BIG money at home.

3. Make a Halloween costume out of your bedsheets.

4. Learn the Morse code.

5. Practice to become the World’s Fastest Remote-Control User.

6 Enter a sweepstakes.

7. Mix up a unique facial mask from your lunch.

8. Practice your kissing technique on a pocket mirror.

9. Try to name the Seven Dwarfs.

10. Imagine what you’d say to customers if you ran a phone “romance” service.

11. Name the provinces; now try their capital cities.

12. Teach yourself to shuffle cards like a casino dealer.

13. Say the alphabet backward.

14. See how long you can go without blinking.

15. Write your family history in rhymed verse.

16. Call a disc jockey and ask how many CDs and tapes the station has.

17. Compose a “letter to the editor” on a topic that bothers you.

18. Plan how you’d spend the money if you won a lottery.

19. Draw happy faces on your toes.

20. Call a talk show and say you’re a space alien. See if anyone notices.

21. Paste together your own “wish book” from mail-order catalogs.

22. Make a list of 100 wild, exciting things to do when you're completely recovered.

23. CONCENTRATE ON GETTING BACK TO NORMAL SOON!

Yes, yes please!

Have a super -dee- duper weekend!

On Purpose!

• I like reading short posts.
• Less opinion, more facts. A greater understanding of the actual "post" is obtained through, verbal dialogue. Not linguistic diarrhea.
• Self absorbed writers do nothing for me, except for the annoy factor that rings loud n clear after about the first three sentences.
• Random thoughts, love them.

Jokes!

__________________

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

_______________________________

Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.
"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy.
"Tommy," replied the second.
"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.
Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked Billy.
"No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
__________________________________________

"A redhead, a brunette and a blonde are stuck on a deserted island, when one of them finds a lamp on the beach. She picks it up and gives it a little rub and a genie pops out.
The genie looks at the three women and says, "I normally give three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant each of you one wish.
Well the redhead is tired of being stranded on the island, so she wishes she was back home in New York. POOF! She disappears. ....
Well the brunette is also tired of being on the island, so she wishes she was back home in New York. POOF! She disappears......
The genie then turns to the blonde and asks her what her wish is. "Gee," she says, "I'm awfully lonely here by myself. I wish my friends were still here..."

___________________________________________

...Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church.
The pastor said, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.
The pastor went to the elderly couple and asked, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The old man replied, "No problem at all, Pastor."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.
The pastor went to the middle-aged couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.
The pastor then went to the newlywed couple and asked, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?" "No Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied sadly.
"What Happened?" inquired the pastor.
"My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it.
When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."
"You understand, of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.
"We know." said the young man, "We're not welcome at the Safeway supermarket anymore either."
__________________________________________

A fortyish woman was at home happily jumping up and down on her bed says, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?"
The woman continues to bounce around on the bed and says, "I don't care. I just came from the doctor and he says I have the breasts of an 18 year-old."
The husband said, "Oh yeah? And what did he say about your 41 year-old ass?"
"Your name never came up," replied the wife.

_____________________________

" There were 11 people hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter. 10 were men and of course the other was a woman.
The helicopter pilot said that there was one too many people on the rope and it would break and they would all die, if someone didn't get off.
Just one person too many.
No one could decide who should go, so finally the woman gave a really touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children and giving in to men.
All of the men started clapping."

__________________________________________

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.
A smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, and sweetly says: "That excuse would not be acceptable. You can still write with your other hand."

__________________________

A woman rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items. She headed for the express line where the clerk was talking on the phone with his back turned to her.
"Excuse me," she said, "I'm in a hurry. Could you check me out, please?"
The clerk turned, stared at her for a second, looked her up and down, smiled and said, "Not bad."

_________

All stressed out and no one to choke?

I feel your pain ;)

Caption THAT!

My first thought, "Nun for you.."

Did you know?

• Black and white are either the total reflection or absorbtion of light:
• Black - total absorbtion
• White - total relfection

You say that like it's a bad thing ;)

Mmmm sweet gentle sucking...

BSide Productions, led by artistic director/producer Jeffrey Pufahl, is proud to present:
Darla Biccum
in
"Marg Szkaluba (Pissy's Wife)"
as part of the
Globe Theatre Sandbox Series March 20-24/07.

Marg Szkaluba (Pissy’s Wife) tells the story of Marg, a hard prairie woman who overcomes the obstacle of entrapment in bad marriage. Told through wry recollections, Marg finds her voice, her power and eventual freedom.

The powerful script, by Edmonton writer, Ron Chambers, is lifted up with country blues tunes by Paul Morgan Donald.

Jeremy Sauer joins Darla with keyboard and guitar accompaniment. Lighting Design: Bill Hales.

Marg Szkaluba (Pissy’s Wife) was nominated for an Elizabeth Sterling Haynes Award and also received an Honorable Mention for Best New Writing in Theatre, 1994, from the Edmonton Journal.

BSide Productions would like to thank Dr. Jacqui Shumiatcher, The Saskatchewan Arts Board and AGF for financial support and Globe Theatre for presenting this production.

• For Tickets Call: 525-6400

Kinda says it all :)

Computerized IAT's to try out:

https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/demo/selectatest.jsp

How I feel...

"I tried looking through rose-colored glasses, but that just made it worse."

Busy Lil Beaver

Two more days left, both work days for me, busy - busy - busy!

Have an excellent weekend everyone!

My wish for you all: smiles, laughter, oral stimulation, ups n downs ;) , have fun!

Bend-her-over!

The Day from the Pits of Hell

Had my first class today, an artifical nails course.

Interestingly enough it will be enlightening to see if I will ever be able to have a set of gel nails completed - under six freaking LONG hours!

Or

I will just have to charge $200 a set.

;) Made me smile!

What a LONG day...

Incorrect - Wrong - Funny!

T-SHIRT HELL...

(http://www.tshirthell.com/hell.shtml)

Check it out, if you dare!

Taken from - Res Ipsa Homepage (704 Houser Street)

• Men's Thesaurus:
• 
  "IT'S A GUY THING"
• Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
• "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
• Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
• "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
• Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
• "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
• Translated: "I have no idea how it works."
• "TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
• Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
• "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
• Translated: "Are you still talking?"
• "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
• Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification number of every car I've ever owned... but I forgot your birthday."
• "OH, DON'T FUSS -- I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
• Translated: "I have actually severed a limb but will bleedto death before I admit that I'm hurt."
• "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
• Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
• "I CAN'T FIND IT."
• Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, soI'm completely clueless."
• "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
• Translated: "What did you catch me at?"
• "I HEARD YOU."
• Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just saidand am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
• "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
• Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realizeit could be worse."
• "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
• Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."
• "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
• Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."
• "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
• Translated: "I make the messes; she cleans them up."

A New Month - More to DO!

March is a month that is increasingly becoming "the" month for getting stuff done...

• Running again, a commitment I know will pay off in the end ( whatever that means...) but find the work getting to that point of bliss, torturous!
• Began eating a bit smarter, I choose to lose a bit more weight before surgery.
• Beginning classes in Moose Jaw, a two hour commute both ways (Tuesdays and Thursdays) - tomorrow!
• Princess KiKi had kittens, one little orange cutie and one grey muffin, ADORABLE!
• Picking up more hours in the city Tuesday & Thursday evenings, combined with Fridays and Saturdays.
• Surgery is set for March 29Th.
• Fitness classes will come to a close, for a couple weeks, by the end of March, March 28Th to be exact.
• I will be down and out for two weeks minimum. Six weeks for anything fitness related.

Off to teach another class...

Salut!

WW :)

A Riddle...

A Riddle For You:

• What gets longer when pulled?

• Fits between the boobs?

• Inserts neatly in a hole?

• And works best when jerked?

?

I'm in there!

Received "the call" yesterday.

My surgery date is March 29Th @ 1pm.

*Deep breathing*

• I'm excited, scared, happy, nervous, in wonder, frightened...

• I consulted a surgeon, about two and a half years ago, to have my tummy tightened up. I once weighed a heck of a lot. I've lost approximately 180 lbs to date. Anyhoo, I was on the waiting list for about a year, then I turned down two open spots last year, afraid. Not sure of what really, perhaps thinking I would lose a piece of who I've become, my triumphs & struggles, my c-section scar...

• I have come to a new beginning yet again, my life continually evolving - it's time!

• Change is good, intimidating, but good.

• Wish me luck, please :)

Thanks!

How appropriate...

Cocky Indeed

• A cocky Ministry of Highways employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road."
• The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field."
• The Highways employee said, "I have the authority of the Provincial Government to go where I want. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on farm land."
• So the old farmer went about his farm chores.
• Later, he heard loud screams and saw the Ministry of Highways employeee running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and the bull was gaining on the employee at every step.
• The old farmer called out, "Show him your card!!"
  
  

" Wonder Woman - A personal friend, hilarious to be around, brutally frank about her all-time favorite activity (ahem...), and her sense of humour and wonder are contagious. We should all have at least one crazy friend like her! (speaking of which, we need to do coffee sometime soon, chickie)."

• I was a part of a topic, "Female bloggers I like". I guess I'm liked, VERY cool indeed. Who doesn't like to be liked right? Interestingly enough I don't find myself "crazy" at all - words from a looney, how shocking!

• I was doing the ever popular task of washing dishes this morning, thinking, wondering, reflecting on who I am, how I appear to be to others, what I need from other people in my life. These are my, in order/random/perhaps baffling/uncut/offensive to some/true thoughts:

1. I love sex, a lot. I think about it, I want it, I do it, I enjoy it, I love sex, (you guess it) a lot!
2. Am I too open about this? Naw, they wouldn't listen OR ask if they really didn't care. OR the people I choose to be around would choose not to be around me - I'm a rare "thing"...
3. *insert laughter here*
4. I do talk about sex a bit... Yesterday, after fitness class, with a few women, we shared ;) Women comfortable with themselves, life and other women are so damn amazing to be upfront and personal with. Man, I love my morning class chickies!
5. Betty, what a fabulous babe of a human goddessness. So caring, beautiful, genuine, kind-hearted, giving, patient - thank you for blessing her in my life, AMEN!
6. My dog has an outstanding vertical jump, nearly clears the fence, damn...
7. BRUCE!
8. Who hasn't looked at porn ever? Especially on the computer, riiiight - as holy as my "lucky" thong, pffft.
9. I ponder if perhaps I'm just TOO honest.
10. Can one be TOO honest? Does one have to be TOO honest? Why not be TOO honest - exactly!
11. Honestly, TOO much of it makes others feel uncomfortable.
12. Uncomfortable like a too small thong made from horse hair I bet :)
13. Horse porn, I have never seen, thankfully - yuck.
14. Body hair, unless you have a grand need for body floss, why have it. Shave it, be smooth, mmm...
15. Masturbation, a woman's best friend.
16. Whoa, disturbed a few with that comment, no doubt :-P
17. Must get to the gym today for a run...
18. So much snow, snowflakes are God's beauty for us to share. Has everyone taken a single flake and inspected it closely - really looked at and seen how fantastic a single snowflake is?
19. Other than being cold, snow that is, for the most part it's ..
20. *a few tears inserted here*
21. Okay, I have procrastinated long enough, time to get sweaty!

• Maybe it's good to remember that it IS great that we are all different, some a bit less stable while others are just a tad more delusional. This is how we were created to be - a rainbow, a snowflake, a human being... so much the same as the one before, yet looking closely (if you dare) to become apart of each wonderfully blissful experience fully, for what it is meant to be...

• Thanks Pabsters ( Evel Squirrel's ATTITUDE CENTRAL ) for all the kindness in your written words. I agree, everyone needs someone JUST like me, "hilarious, brutally frank, crazy sense of humour and wonder" ;)

• Oh Yeah!

• Salut!