Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween, It's All About...

Role playing, VERY similar to Halloween these days. Today, I was thinking back to whether I was ever something frightening for Halloween. Uh, no I don't believe I have been...

As a child I was: A Hoser (for anyone other than a Canadian, click this), one of the members of KISS the rock band, and seriously that is all that I can remember dressing up as, for this awesome sugar induced coma of a day.

As a teenager - young adult I was nothing remotely scary at all, promiscuously sexy, OH YEAH! I have been: Elvira, Sexy Witch, Sexy Pirate, Day (All white, very made up to be most angelic like, well as angelic as one gets in a tight white mini dress :)), Sexy Devil, etc... I'm certain you're sensing my theme, huh? *wink*

I looked for Halloween pumpkin tattoos large enough to cover my nipples, to surprise my husband later! LOL Sadly, I didn't find any. The sales girl, I think I made her day...

Anyhoo, had "The Mammogram" today and an ultrasound too. A regular festival of boob touching. I think I was violated; I think I didn't mind all that much ;) The mammogram wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as I was lead to believe; fucking women creeping the crap outta each other, sheesh. The ultrasound actually hurt more :(

For those who have not had the experience ...yet: A mammogram is like rough sex, in the chestical (my word) region, without dinner or a commitment. Not really anything too terrible, just not something you wanna do weekly. Or do you? *raised eyebrow*

It's probably just a cyst they say. I will know more next week when my NP has the results sent to her office. I'm cool with it all. I was just so damn shit-in-my-pants scared about the procedure. Pathetic when the procedure out worries the worst case scenario in situations like this. We can send people to the moon but can't figure out how to squish a tit without provoking this 'mythical' traumatic experience I was so readily warned about? Pffft.

Wishing you all a spook-tacular Halloween and orgasmic weekend!

WW :)

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

For All You Big Strong Men

Advice Column By Walter

(Why men should never write for an advice column...)

Dear Walter,

I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbours daughter.
I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbours daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years.When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much,but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely, Sheila


Dear Sheila,

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps,


Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Have You Ever Wondered?


"Hand That Rocks The Cradle"


Watch out baby!!!

Tasty Tuesday?

Uh yeah, why not?

Tasty Tuesday

Click on 'Tasty Tuesday' link to understand the task at hand/ in mouth/ whatever.

Find something you've never tasted.

Something you want to taste.

Or something you can't remember tasking in a long, long time.

Taste it with your lips.

Lick it with your tongue.

Roll it around in your mouth.

Savour it's taste.

Close your eyes.

Experience the explosion of taste sensations...


Tasting, tasting, tasting.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Thursday, October 23, 2008


How can something be so demanding, annoying, selfish not to mention smelly and ULTRAFABULISTIC all at the same time?

I absolutely LOVE all babies!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Tip Of The Day

Lower Back Challenges

Lower back muscles have been given the short end of the stick *wink* in fitness . However, without proper specific back exercises our lower backs aren't going to get any stronger.
Weird eh?

Not really. Muscles work because we work our muscles. A winning combination. If we work a certain muscle/group on a regular basis, it adapts and gets stronger. Muscles work together :)

As an example let us refer to your abdominal muscles. If your tummy muscles are loose not being maintained there is a good chance that the opposing muscles, your lower back muscles, will be weak as well. Conclusion seems to be a flabby midsection with a side of lower back issues.

Ugh, who wants that?

The Tip Of The Day: Superchick/Superman Exercise!

For even more fun, try this on a stability ball!

Just the tip of the ice burg when it comes to maintaining a healthy back. Remember if you use it you won't loose it. And our backs, well, they help us do some of the most amazing "workouts" around. You so know what I mean ;-)


Tuesday, October 21, 2008


My day began with a sinus head achy thing. I took some sinus head achy medication. My head began to throb. I took some head throb (migraine) medication. I felt better.

My daughter, NOT getting up for school after countless (just being lazy I could probably count 1,2,3,4-scream,5) times being asked to get up and get ready for school as she was going to be late. Not too late, but late enough. AND THEN she mentions not being able to find her binder. So, we looked and looked, searched, did some deep breathing, looked more, again - UGH!

This is the exact note I sent with her this morning :)


Dear Oh Enlightened One,

We (Monkey Bum and I) have been frantically searching our home for her binder. Alas, I have come to the conclusions that A) it really has disappeared B) we have little trickster munchkins living in our home who seem to be playing a joke on us C) she left it at her friends on Friday after school D) we have not looked hard enough.

I apologize for her tardiness.

Thank you and HAVE A GREAT DAY!


Yeah, I'm this odd, FOR REAL.

Wishing for you all a non retarded brain damage less day!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Have A Good Weekend, Stay Blessed!

PS. And who can resist a cute little lovable pussy :)
PPS. Never forget, always remember... click the title ;)

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


Update to the previous post:

A friend will be accompanying me to my mammogram delight on Halloween. Awesome, it's like a freaking festival of fun, kinda ;)

I'm please to report EW did manage to choke down his "excitement" over Pandora's box ...

I actually FAILED at donating blood yesterday. Ugh, double UGH! My iron levels were too low. However, I was still offered a cookie :)

Up, up, up and awaaaaaaaaay,

WW :)

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Mammograms R Us


Joy just phoned from the Woman's Health Centre with unbelievably awesome news! I'm booked in for a mammogram torture session on Halloween, October 31st at 10:30am in case you'd like to send my way non squishy, comfortable thoughts.

I arranged for my medical physical a few weeks back aware I hadn't had a complete physical in oh, about, ah, 13 years :) Today was the day, and I'm pleased to say my cervix didn't fall out or anything! Everything went decent. As decent as one gets stripped down in front of a complete stranger. The questions were a bit unnerving as well, especially 2 of them made me a bit uncomfortable. However, I can't change the past, and so I did answer honestly to all queries. Everything went swimmingly smoothly until my breast examination, she found a lump, a sore lump I might add. (No worries, I'm cool with it really.) My breasts can be tender at times. The nurse practitioner wants to make sure it's nothing, mentioning that I would be getting a call for an ultrasound. I agreed, again no worries. Finishing my appointment off with some routine blood tests then dashing back to work to perform a bikini waxing.

A morning so complete, unlike one of my very relaxed average days.

Total time of appointment - 1 hour 15 minutes. She was thorough, knowledgeable, kind, straight to the point, non judging, efficient, and soothing. Unlike any physician I've seen. Crazy weird huh?

It's just after noon now and Joy, the receptionist, has informed me of my mammogram appointment.

"Um" I said sounding a bit nervous. "I was told that I would be having a simple ultrasound, I may have misunderstood, however if there is any chance of the ultrasound over the mammogram, I'd gladly rather take the ultrasound..."

She got back to me in lightening speed.

The nurse practitioner took me for much younger, apparently. Anyone over 30 with a "lump" issue is sent for a mammogram. Joy apologized for any miscommunication. Oh well, I guess.


Firstly - Yippppppeeeeee @ Looking younger!

Secondly - DAMN @ Not being younger ;-)

Thirdly - F@CK @ A mammogram! Ugh.

This afternoon I am going to get caught up on the overload of dishes lingering around the house after the long weekend. Put a roast in the oven for supper. I have an appointment to donate blood a bit later. And an evening of services to perform (manicure, pedicure, bikini waxing) for a wonderful woman who works out of town, making an evening appointment with me necessary. I'm such a nice person, I swear!

Just another typical Tuesday, perhaps...

Have fun whatever you choose to do today!

WW :)

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Gobble .. Gobble .. Gobble

In lieu of it snowing currently,

I thought I'd wish for you a very merry,

Canadian Thanksgiving!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Bloggers in Hiding!

Currently I have read on two separate blogs and suspect on a few others that these blogging people's spouse, family, real friends don't know about their online blogging fun. Everyday friends are not aware such an avenue for your creativity exists? The blogger's identity - their blogging personality - a secret from those closest to them.

What the hell is that about?

If you don't want anyone you know to read what you type, rant, seduce, scream on about - don't freaking write about it! The "true you" can remain hidden if you're that much of a chicken shit. Holy Hannah people, your blog, your ideals, thoughts, beliefs are nothing but lies. Lying to yourself, to those closest to you, to strangers alike.

What type of person is this much of a coward?

Say what you need to say, or don't. The internet, nothing ever dies once it's been put online. Remember that. A tiny slice of advice for you fucktards, would you type what you're about to type/post whilst your wife/husband/grown child sits next to you? Hmmm, didn't think so :)

This may come as a great surprise to many of you and a few who really, REALLY know me as a REAL person are aware - I am who I type I am. Not hidden from anyone or anything. I am who I am, and f!uck you if you don't approve :) Embellish away...

Back to your regular scheduled programming.


Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Humps-A-Lot Wednesday!

Says it all really, now doesn't it?

Word of the Day for Wednesday, October 8, 2008

circumlocution \sir-kuhm-loh-KYOO-shuhn\, noun:

The use of many words to express an idea that might be expressed by few; indirect or roundabout language.

Some fun from Heidi!

The Classic Dames Test


The Classic Leading Man Test

I am... Myrna Loy?!?

You are class itself, the calm, confident “perfect woman.” Men turn and look at you admiringly as you walk down the street, and even your rivals have a grudging respect for you. You always know the right thing to say, do and, of course, wear. You can take charge of a situation when things get out of hand, and you’re a great help to your partner even if they don’t immediately see or know it. You are one classy dame. Your screen partners include William Powell and Cary Grant, you little simmerpot, you.

Monday, October 6, 2008

The Beauty Of Being a Sexy Beast!

PS. I've done that straw manoeuvre... works every time!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

EXTRA, EXTRA Read All About it!

Esthetics Slows Down

I don't get it, perhaps Saskatchewan women enjoy being furry those 9 out of 12 months of the year. Or quite possibly their feet can scrape bed sheets into confetti every season other than summer no questions asked. Summer now that's a funny name for a season which typically is ONLY June/July/August.

Why is "body maintenance" only primary during the warmer weather months?

Like it or Love it:
  • I detest gel finger nails, doing them MORE SO.

  • I have began to embark on enjoying zee acrylic nails much more...

  • Manicures, not to burst any one's bubble on this one but it would take some kinda 'special' not to be able to give decent hand/finger service - job :)

  • Waxing, I'm neurotic and anal enough to do well at this service.

  • Pedicures are my specialty.
I quote, "I had one of her pedicures and I swear it was better than sex!"

Whoa, I don't know who you're sleeping with but, ahem, almost as good as sex, yeah I can live with that :) I have a few clients from as far away as California that actually have cottages around these parts that come by each summer for their annual services.

Hmmm, I will need to seriously look at what I am to do in the form of a job for the remaining months, September to May!

October List Of Shit To Get Done - FINALLY!
  1. Make an appointment with a doctor and follow it up until reoccurring problem has been eradicated!
  2. Make an appointment at the Women's Center for THAT kind of appointment; 12 going on 13 years is too long, oops!
  3. Go to scheduled chiropractic appointment - no excuses.
  4. Set up massage appointments to get my should back into winning action. NOTE TO SELF: No more falling down stairs, or off bikes when mountain biking, dammit!
  5. Have tooth pulled, yeeeeouch :(
  6. Do your darn nails woman - what are you, a construction worker? Sheesh!
  7. Read some more...
  8. Keep smiling.
  9. Laugh until I cry!
  10. Enjoy, everything I've been given!

PS. The last few are the easy ones, mostly ;-)

PPS. What I would do with 1 million dollars for the remainder of 2008:
  • Pay for my kids schooling. They work so darn hard, I would like to alleviate some financial stress for them and have that cost covered - I would expect GREAT successes!
  • Fix up the ole homestead, aka: shack. It's no real surprise to anyone, but I really am not fond of landscaping, home repairs, or even that continual keeping up of the home. Ugh - pay someone to do everything that needs to be done!
  • Plan a simple yet wonderful winter vacation!
  • Firstly, I would make that plastic surgeon's appointment and have these long hanging tube socks, cut, retied and filled up again.
  • Truly, I would like a few lines less noticeable. Yes, seriously, SUCK IT UP, it's my face :)
  • I would also like some lipo done on my thighs. Since having the skin removed around my tummy from my weight loss, my thighs seem bigger... like hiding pigs rolled in blankets big. LOL
Ah, sweet glorious vanity ;-)

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee all the way home,

WW :)

Progression Of Our Laila Ali

Laila Ali, our Boxer crossed with an Elkhound mutt.

She is the little sister (not biologically, obviously) to Bruce Lee our Black Lab crossed with a Rottweiler.

Laila has grown up a lot during her one year of life, seeing these pictures reminded me of how eency she once was.

And what a dork she remains :)

Blessed are those furry little creatures!

They bring such joy and perspective into the most simple of worlds.

Thanks Puppies!







Bruce Lee & Laila Ali

Thursday, October 2, 2008

A Wee Attempt At Humour

Relax, I balanced it out...
Sheesh, uptight little crotch rockets!

HNT - Half Nekkid Thursday!

I almost forgot... , spank me already!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Let Us Speak Of The Forbidden

This post may (yeah, right, WILL) contain
VERY STRONG graphic sexual content.

Okay, that's all.