Monday, April 30, 2007

Update!

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.


No further studies are expected.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Caberlesque

On Friday June 1, CABERLESQUE! comes to the Show Lounge at Casino Regina! Caberlesque is a cheeky combination of cabaret and burlesque - the show takes the audience to Berlin, Amsterdam and New York. Caberlesque took Best of Fringe in Winnipeg, Saskatoon and Calgary last summer and will embark on a national Fringe tour in Montreal in June.

Jeff Pufahl (Max) conceived the show, directs it and performs as well - he is joined by Darla Biccum (Sugar Puss) Lee Ann Scott(Marina) and the beautiful Sharon Nowlan (Prairie Fire)- with her feathers!

Tickets are on sale at the Show Lounge and are $25.00 on the floor and $20.00 for balcony seating!

Hope to see you there!

Friday, April 27, 2007

Today is my birthday - hip, hip hooray!


___________________________________

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?


Answer: Princess Diana's death.


Question: How come?


Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles;treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines. This is sent to you by a Canadian, using Bill Gate's technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that uses Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....



That, my friends, is Globalization

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

La Dee Da...

_______________________________
You Are An INFP
The Idealist:

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.

Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.

It takes a long time for people to get to know you.

You are hesitant to let people get close.

But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.


What's your personaility? Long version :)

___________________________________________

Your Body Image is 16% Unhealthy, 84% Healthy

You have a great body image.


You know that no one looks perfect, and you're happy the way you are.



Also, you don't judge other people on their looks... and it helps them feel better about their own bodies!


How's your body image?

______________________________________



Your Personality Profile
You are sexy, powerful, and bold.





You're full of passion and energy...Sometimes this passion has a dark side.



You feel most alive when you're seducing someone.



You never fail to get someone's attention.



Quick minded, you're also quick to lose your temper!




World's shortest personaility test.


___________________________________



Your Power Color Is Gold
At Your Highest
:You are engrossed in passions that mentally stimulate you.



At Your Lowest:You seek thrills and neglect what's important in your life.



In Love:You see dating as adventure and approach it with an open attitude.



How You're Attractive:Your passion for life makes others passionate about you.



Your Eternal Question:"Am I Having Fun?"



What's your power colour?



_____________________________________

Rascally Behavior

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally
behavior that was going on. So he called one of His angels and sent
the angel to Earth for a time.

When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are
misbehaving and only 5% are not.

God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send
down a second angel to get another opinion."

So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time.

When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true.
The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good."

God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% that were good,
because he wanted to encourage them, and give them a little something
to help them keep going.

Do you know what the e-mail said?








Me either ;)

Pick Up Lines...

If I flip a coin what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?

What's a sexy hottie like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?

You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

If I could rearrange the alphabet... I'd put you between F and CK

Ay carumba...are those real?

You must be Jamaican... because Jamaican me crazy.

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?

You have been very naughty! Go to my room!

If I were to ask you for sex... would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

Do you know the difference between a hamburger and oral sex? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?

My face is leaving in 15 minutes. Be on it.

Got two nipples for a dime?

If this bar is a meat market... you must be the prime rib.

You might not be the best looking girl here. But beauty is only a light switch away.

Be unique and different - just say yes.

Hi. I'm a necrophiliac. How good are you at playing dead?

I've just moved you to the top of my to do list.

Seriously honey - sex is like pizza. Even if it's bad it's still pretty darn good.

You know - I ain't this tall. I'm just sitting on my wallet.

Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!

Hey... I might not be the cutest one here... but I am the only one talking to you.

MY FAVORITE: Hi. I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Uncomfortable Feelings

Uncomfortable.

Feelings.


Uncomfortable feelings:


  1. Munching down on some yummy little chocolate Easter eggs, to bite into a piece of the tin covering.
  2. Thong wedgies.
  3. Your bottom about to explode, and nothing you can do about it but...CLEAR THE ROOM!
  4. The idea you've disappointed someone you care about.
  5. Eency weency paper cuts!
  6. Knowing you've had that "something" between your teeth all frickin day long, and no one told you!
  7. Having your home broken into.
  8. Puss filled whiteheads on the brink of bursting...
  9. Sleeping anywhere other than a comfy bed and/or couch.
  10. Desperation.
  11. The smell of cat pee.
  12. Too tight of clothing that, once upon a time, used to fit well.
  13. Sensitive teeth in the winter.
  14. Vomiting.
  15. Accidental squishing something creature like in bare feet.

Have any to add?

Okay, this one is different!

YOU fill in the blanks about ME.

Your Name?
Where did we meet?
Take a stab at my middle name?
How long have you known me?
Do I smoke?
What was your first impression of me upon meeting?
Color of my eyes?
Do I have any siblings?
What's one of my favourite things to do?
Do you remember one of the first things I said to you?
What's my favourite type of music?
What is the best feature about me?
Am I shy or outgoing?
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules?
What's your favourite memory of me?
Any special talents?
How many children do I have?
If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be?
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is one thing would I bring?

I can't wait to see the answers! Okay, I can ;)

Religious Humour

Ouchies!!!!!
Mmmm bacon...

A woman's touch ;)


I saw the sign...


Noah's Ark



Jewish Swim Meet








Monday, April 23, 2007

Proud Moment-o!

Wonder Woman's Girl Wonder, breezed by this semester with nothing lower than a 92% in all of her courses at university! She's off to Calgary to make sweet glorious gold coins, aiding in her financial needs, pursuing that educational dream of hers.

Goals, dreams, persistence, and hard work - DO pay off! CONGRATULATIONS Sugar Booger, I'm very proud of you!



Wonder Woman's Boy Wonder just received a scholarship for $22, 500 to attend the engineering program at the University of Saskatchewan! I'm so happy for him, soooooooooooooo pleased at his continual triumphs.

His natural ability to do well has given him a path of luck, clarity, logical choices and of course par-tay skills ;) Love ya son - CONGRATULATIONS!




Man, I sure scored in the gene pool - four amazing kidlettes! Continuing to *cross my fingers*...



Aging, Cat In The Hat Style!


Wow, this what we get to look forward too ...

It's happening every day...

Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney story was an urban legend, this one is not. It's happening every day.


My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal.

Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years? Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? Hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and Sheer Energy Control Top Panty Hose.


Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again.


My ass was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains To match my new rear end to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. I couldn't believe that my new ass was attached at least three inches lower than my original. Now, my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.


It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced one section at a time. How clever and fiendish.


Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning. In despair, I gave up my T-shirts. What could they do to me next?


My poor neck suddenly disappeared faster than the Thanksgiving turkey It now resembled. That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take On the medical profession by myself. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee. That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don't you? The next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted," look again. Was it lifted from you? I think I finally found my thighs - and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!



This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!



P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.


*The tale of living life, growing wise, being all that your body allows you to be!*

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Word of the Day for Sunday, April 22, 2007
prolix \pro-LIKS; PRO-liks\, adjective:
1. Extending to a great length; unnecessarily long; wordy.
2. Tending to speak or write at excessive length.


Notice his sign is pretty much to the point.

I'd say this sex starved, most likely amazingly desired as well giving and generous human being is definitely not wordy when it comes to his needs.

Gotta admire his ingenuity!

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Making Time


Life is about "making time"...
God Bless!

Friday, April 20, 2007

Stream of Conscious or NOT!

Answering a fellow friends query, "I wonder what most women think about during a normal day."

Here it goes!


Mmm, he feels so, mmm next to me.


Wonder if today will be my "lucky" day, good heavens I hope so, or I'm gonna EXPLODE! It's not like I can't, I explained that I can, in fact I mentioned I had "tested the waters". I'm GOOD TO GO! He worries too much about some stuff... Ah, time to rise n shine!


Awww, she's such a quirky lil thing, spry and full of energy for 7am, guess it's a kitten thing. Hmm, why doesn't Pabsters want such a fascinating, one of God's cutest creatures for his very own?


How attentive, my eldest is brushing the Bruce Lee dawg outside at this early mornin hour. What a helpful child/adult ;)


First day back teaching classes yesterday. It didn't go too badly - I couldn't do anything physical, fortunately my vocal chords were not severed during my surgery and I did communicate through various grunting sounds, and words explaining what it is they were to do. Phew. Hooray!


Time to get the kidlettes up, up, up...


The swifter, nice idea, gold star for ingenuity. Still, there must be something MORE effective, with less steps of effort when dealing with flooring. Current steps...

  1. Sweep floor. Dust pan handy. Picking animal fur off broom.
  2. Put the kitten in the bedroom.
  3. Swifter floor. Pushing remaining dirt around, still mucho animal fur, flip over swifter pad re-use and continue on. Garbage all swifter pads. *Seems wasteful*
  4. Relocate the kitten into the bathroom.
  5. Wet swifter floor. FINALLY the floor looks half decent. Now, where the hell do I walk...
  6. Ahh, follow the paw marks!


ARGH!!!!!!!!!


Bruce Lee really does like people, so much in fact the person of the moment is definitely his favorite at that time. He has many, many favorite, tail slapping, bum waggling, happy to see you again - PEOPLE!


"Testing the waters" mmm.


I lost track of my thoughts by approximately 9am. I DO think!


I remembering thinking...


Ellen's Talk Show, I admit it, I quite enjoy her humour!


I have watched more television (being on leave from work and school) the past three weeks than I have in five years, seriously.


Being Ian, another cute program. By program, I mean cartoon ;)

Worst cartoon: Viva Pinata - yuck!

I am not able to continue a "normal" life yet. Recovery is taking MUCHO longer-o than I had anticipated. Life, throw me a bone dangit!

Gotta shave all the necessary bits today ;)

Kids lunch, errands, commitments... I better hustle my ass along!

My eldest son is refusing to go to school Friday. Sad, and defeated I can't assure him (I'm not God) a gawdess, yes - and I can NOT 100% predict his safety. That's seemingly quite frightening for a parent to admit. I do know he is in grade 12 and there have been many opportunities and challenges set in his path and he IS still here with us. But I just can't reason with myself, standing up, making him, go. A reality check, perhaps.

The play is this weekend, today we decorate. I just assign how it is to look. Everyone has been supportive helping me out - THANK YOU!

Had a cake made for Seamus's B-Day Friday. Carrot cake with cream cheese icing - oh how I am looking forward to that piece of heavenly bliss *licking lips*...

And then I thought about:

Man, my super hero powers fail me every day at around 4pm. Even my pretty good powers go down hill shortly there after.

I take a small meal of vitamins every day, you'd think they'd kick in when my powers have failed!

Forethought, we don't use this word enough anymore.

If I don't get some intense physical relations tonight I may have to "test the waters" again. I wonder, is it physically possible to EXPLODE? Probably not, but I sure am getting bitchy :-P

Let us end on that note, "Do I explode?" OR "Do I become the witch bitch from the land of prairies?" OR "Do I 'test the waters' yet again?" OR "Do I simply 'suck it up' and look forward to when it is I will get a piece of thick, engorged, pulsating ..."


TOODLES!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

What a Coincidence

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of Champagne, too!"

"What a coincidence," the farmer says, "This is a special day for me, and I'm celebrating."

"This is a special day for me too, I'm also celebrating!" says the woman.

"What a coincidence!" says the man.

As they clinked glasses the farmer asked, "What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my Gynaecologist told me that I'm pregnant!"

"What a coincidence," says the man, "I'm a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilised eggs."

"That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"

"I used a different cock," he replied.

The woman smiled and said, "What a coincidence."

National Geographic Magazine

AMAZING!


An archeological team, digging in Washington DC , has uncovered 10,000 year old bones and fossil remains of what is believed to be the first Politician.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

My Mother

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP..
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

Thank you Mom!

Monday, April 16, 2007

Fabulous Fridays!

One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with a demon. The demon asked, "Why so glum?"

The guy responded, "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

"Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?"

"Sure," the man said, "I love to drink."

"Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab and Fresca. We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!"

The guy is astounded. "Damn, that sounds great."

"You a smoker?" the demon asked.

"You better believe it!"

"You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out! If you get cancer, no biggie You're already dead, remember?"

"Wow, the guy said, "That's awesome!"

The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble."

"Why yes, as a matter of fact I do."

"Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well, you're dead anyhow. You into drugs?"

The guy said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean . . "

"That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead, who cares!"

"Wow," the guy said, starting to feel better about his situation, "I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"

The demon said, "You gay?"

"No."

"Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays!"

FUNNY!

Friday, April 13, 2007

A Cute Email - Why?

Why, Why, Why...

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?"
Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Or Am I ...

___________________
You Are AnimalA complete lunatic, you're operating on 100% animal instincts. You thrive on uncontrolled energy, and you're downright scary. But you sure can beat a good drum. "Kill! Kill!"
_________________________________

Your Mouth is a Little Big

You're not a total tell all, but you don't hide who you are either. You've struck a good balance between discretion and sharing. People know you fairly well, at least on a superficial level. But you save your most revealing secrets for your best friend... or no one!

___________________

You Are A Pinky

You are fiercely independent, and possibly downright weird. A great communicator, you can get along with almost anyone. You are kind and sympathetic. You support all your friends - and love them for who they are. You get along well with: The Ring Finger - Stay away from: The Thumb
____________________________



Who am I, What am I?

*****************************************
You Are A Romantic Realist
You tend to be grounded when it comes to romance. Sure, you can fall hard... but only for someone you've gotten to know. And once you're in love, you can be a total romantic goofball... But you'd never admit it to your friends!
**********************************************
You Are A Soft Kisser

Your kissing style is understated, but effective.You give soft, sweet, and soulful kisses.And the key is, you only give kisses to someone incredibly special. Because you don't just go around kissing anyone!
**********************************************
You Are Silly Panties

You're a goofy, fun loving girl who is always smiling. You like your panties to be a silly secret - even if only you know. Men feel instantly relaxed around you, with a little instant chemistry too. Even though you're a goofball, you can be sexy when you want to.

************************************************


Monday, April 9, 2007

Just Another Pretty Face

A guy sitting at an airport bar in Atlanta noticed a beautiful woman sitting next to him. He thought to himself, "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be a flight attendant. But which airline does she work for?"

Hoping to gain her attention, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta Slogan,"Love to fly and it shows?"

She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to himself, Nope, not Delta."

A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned towards her again, "Something special in the air?"

She gave him the same confused look. He mentally kicked himself, and scratched American Airlines off the list. Next he tried the United slogan, "I would really love to fly your friendly skies?"

This time the woman savagely turned on him, "What the fuck do you want?"

The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair, and said....
"Ahhh, Air Canada!"

Thursday, April 5, 2007


ALERT!

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, verbally, and by hand.

This virus is called Weary-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means, DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK, put on your jacket and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER).

Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

Your most welcome!

In Poor Taste; Yes, This IS Hilarious!

Some Recommendations (if you're really, really bored):

Joe Momma - Click here - Sick, demented chicken soup for the Momma!

Or Joe Momma - Click here - Is there a doctor in the house?

Live and Let Dive - Click here - Part 2 - "Lemming Gymnastics" - Be sure to click the judges score each time, and click next until, well it got too gross for me ;)

A Poodle Story - Click here - Utterly fascinating :)

Enjoy?!?

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Freaky Deeky Dutch!

Peeing standing up? How often is this ever required, really? Oy vey!

UFC 69

_______________________________


Georges St-Pierre - “In my mind, I’m not the champion. I’m a guy who got another chance to win another title."


VERSES




Matt Serra - "Every fight is the most important fight."
___________________________________________
I admire athletes immensely for their obsessive yet channelled enthusiasm. I do become obsessive with fitness routines, eating habits, daily planning, etc. However, to focus your abilities, the coming together of the mind and body; to work as one amazing machine, to accomplish beyond what any ordinary human sets out to be apart of - WOW!
Zee Francais accent is sexy, no?


What I've been up to...

Went to my doctor's appointment Monday. What was accomplished you ponder?

This:

I thanked him for the new vagina and belly button. He turned pink and oddly became quieter :)

He moved my Jackson-Pratt out of the way before changing my dressing. I asked him to be gentle with my testicles (you so have to see to understand)...

I told him I didn't need any more pain killers, "I'm fine" is what I believe my idiotic self stated at the time. He sheepishly went along with my heroic persona.

I asked him when I can have sex again. With a more than void befuddled look, he stammered a bit about 'force'. Then explained how, like any physical activity should be about six weeks before I resume "normal activities".

I rolled my eyes, I actually felt them roll in my head - and with a light "chaaa" "right" sound escaping from my lips (the ones on my face). He felt obliged to explain further about pressure. Blah, blah, blah.

What I got out of our "little talk" was this: I can have raunchy wild animalisitic pounding sex in about six weeks. I will have gentle easing of genitalia once the drain bulbs have been removed ;)

See, I listen :)

All in all my doctor's appointment went well I think.

Tuesday, the day after I refused more drugs was HELL. I cried, I was in pain, and I do mean P-A-I-N. Oh boy, let me tell you after my son's hug did little for the pain, I made that call. T3's aren't much, but they sure do a lot, when you need them to.

I had a fever yesterday and a migraine to boot (I'm so freakin lucky). Yesterday wasn't a great day. When I can't eat, I must be ill.

The drain bulbs seemed to be blocked. I was told at my doctor's appointment previously that "it would work itself out". One word, "BULLSHIT".

I had to unplug blood clots from this god forsaken instrument of perpetual leakage. SICK, WRONG, GROSS, but kinda cool ;) The bulbs filled up FAST. I knew.. something needed fixing.

Random thought: Interesting how often "we know" but fail to listen, to ourselves!

Wednesday, today I feel good. Uncomfortable with the damn drain bulbs, they seem to be pulling and leaking slightly (good heavens I'm sexy ;). I will be picked up shortly for my rendezvous with health care staff at the hospital. I can voice my concerns and have them rectified (they actually listen to me).

My sick sense of humour is almost back into full swing. Seamus feels "I must be wired wrong" as I'm up for pretty much anything ;) Not that he's allowing this anything to happen dammit!

So, I'm thinking breasts done next year? Hmm, maybe ;)

REMINDER: Doctor's orders won't allow for any wild animalistic pounding sex for six weeks.
Update: Right bulb was removed. Creepy one foot tube removed from my guts. I'm on my way...zoom, zoom!

Sunday, April 1, 2007

In light of how I'm feeling today...
*rar*