Your Penis Name!

Cos, I'm mildly retarded, remember?!

Try it!

I'm...

Pumping Pole of Penile Power!

Monday's Mundane Thoughts

Hmmm, men get so upset, down right flustered at woman. Especially feminist women. Men get riled up over the issues pertaining to unfair divorces, inequality when it comes to potential parenting, why do they ALWAYS get screwed??? Oh, Lord, why???? Ummm, cos what goes around comes around, maybe :)

Don't you think that quite possibly men have screwed themselves over with past actions? I mean, seriously, in the 60's - 70's - 80's wasn't it all too often the chick got shanked when it came to support payments? Men would claim bankruptcy so that they didn't HAVE TO PAY SUPPORT? Uh, yeah, you must have forgot about this.

And don't forget... Didn't men just leave their families, making new ones along the way. These "dads" gladly gave over any paternal rights while decent men, step dads, began this adopting of disregarded children.

Wasn't there a rule about what men could use to "control" their women? Wasn't punishment often physical abuse? AND this was totally acceptable, a norm even?

Seems to me, the past is what's haunting jilted men THESE DAYS. Bitch is a payback.

Men and women are equal. The bibles even states this to be true. We were created in His image. End of discussion.

**********

Why are there certain "roles" one must abide by being born a certain sex when married?

I was born a woman, therefore I am to be nurturing, caring for the children, making meals, cleaning, looking up to and taking care of my husband.

A husband should solely provide, work outside the home, and with love in his heart have the strong hand of discipline on his side.

Gender roles, are they not a combination of several "needs" allotted between a couple, divided up as need be? IE: Perhaps the woman works outside the home; the man nurtures the children at home. Coming to an agreement which suits each union, isn't this marriage?

Thought so.

*********

Responsibility, this seemingly is a reoccurring thought of mine; or therefore the lack of acceptance of such a term.

Your life sucks. Figure it out.

Someone makes you (love that one) feel. Naw, I'm inclined to disagree. You choose to feel, and yes others can affect your feelings. Ultimately however, you feel as you choose to feel.

I suffer. You're a victim and need to figure out shit, ASAP.

Why me? Why not you, what makes you so special that you don't need some faith practises thrown your way?

I can't. Oh, okay, you can't.

What I can do is... tell you about what I admire in you, spend time with you, tell you what you mean to me, show you my feelings. I'm afraid the rest (the hard stuff) is pretty much up to you.

*********

Why are women chastised over gradual weight gain; whereas men don't ever look as they did 20 year their junior?

No one "likes" abortion. Right?

Why do dogs roll in shit from other animals when they're let off a leash to run freely. They don't "blend" into anything once they're back on the leash.

Who can hold out their arms whilst sitting on the floor, not propped up against any walls etc and hold their arms in this position for a minimum on 5 minutes? No stretching in between, no letting them fall, even if for a brief moment, holding...holding...holding. Who knows why this IS important?

I'm almost maxed out of push ups I can do in one sitting, in a row, without wanting to scream profanities. Yes, I have previous injuries, and yes this IS an excuse. I suck it up every day. I just am not sure about what the future holds for me and the push ups. *give me strength, please* PS. Erik you suck :)

Roast chicken is for supper tonight, the smell lingers and mmmm, mmmm, mmmm I'm looking forward to filling my tummy after class!

I just ate a healthy snack WITH a thick layer of creamy icing from a can, DOH! I believe my choices, due to my lack of responsibility ;-) may have earned me a few more exercises tonight. Ugh, who am I kidding, it was SO FLUCKING WORTH EVERY BLISSFUL MORSEL OF CHEWY CREAMY GOODNESS. Ahhh.

Need to lose weight? Eat less. Want to be a bit healthier? Exercise. A winning combination :)

Until I bulge again,

WW ;)

Wonder Woman is...

Wonder Woman is constipated AND pmsing.

• Constipated
• PMS

Are You a People Pleaser?

A Giver and a Taker

Looking out for number one is often your motto. You have very few symptoms of the "Disease to Please"! It's not that you disregard others' feelings -- you just make sure that your own needs are met first. If someone has to sacrifice, it most likely won't be you! Looking out for yourself is definitely important, and you do it well. Speaking the truth and enjoying yourself to the fullest reveal a sense of self-confidence. But make sure that your confidence doesn't stray into cockiness. Look out for yourself, but don't neglect others in the process. It's clear that you are willing to compromise, which is a necessary component of any healthy relationship. So, continue to take care of you - but make sure that you fit other people into your list of "things to think about."

• Hmmm, I believe perhaps the analysis on how I answered the provided questions are relevant regarding one's age more so than anything else. As you mature you change, as you change you make the inevitable - different choices.

With age brings... elongated tits!

• I was a definite people pleaser in the past, often due to fear.

I'm no longer frightened of... the boogie man taking away my birthday!

• I do my best more often than not, living my life in a healthy and productive way. I love with all my heart. I respect individual thoughts and beliefs. I trust those who earn that from me. Just don't fuck with me :)

I enjoy being... a SUPER HERO!

Take care out there and hug someone randomly today AND if you don't get punched or get brought up on assault charges, YAY YOU!

Gloriously Me ;)

Half-Assed Wednesday

The absolute BEST day of the week,

the day of maximum hope that maybe,

you might make it out of this week alive.

Tuesday is Pajama Day!

Yup, no run took place.

With that, smart cooking was inevitable, veggies for lunch. Yuck. Hey, it's all about choices :) That is why I run. *shudders* A huge plate of steamed broccoli. And you thought you were having a day, pffft...

Now, I believe today is an official pajama day. I like the sound of that, relax, rest, twiddle about. We all need days like I'm experiencing today, especially without illness. When one is not feeling well it's just not the same type of appreciation for the day. To be well, mind - body - soul, ahhh.

I have also prepared lunch, and pre prepared supper for later, done the dishes, folded laundry, and played with the pups, helped with homework, made my move on Wordscraper, been made aware that I worked out my shoulders in a big way yesterday, checked emails, read blogs commenting as needed, noticed the influx of flies buzzing around and smiled about 14 billion times.

All before noon!

As my world turns...
WW ;)

Update: I did bathe then shower, shaved and change into clean fresh pajamas, thought of an idea for an animated story about a most annoying little nose hair located in the the left nostril to the back a bit, folded more laundry, engaged in Wordscraper LIVE, denied myself a slice of cake, changed my wacky answering machine message, and smiled yet again about 16 billion times, this time.

Quite possibly, TO BE CONTINUED...

A Game For The Noodle

Click the numbers beginning with the least value number moving up to the greatest value number in sequence.. 1, 2, 3 etc.

It gives you a score. I don't know what score is "good". But it had my ADHD ass hooked for a few minutes!

TRY IT!

Another ...

UPDATE: Apparently the lower the number the better, I can't seem to get past 22!

Breakfast Of Champions

1 "top of" a slice of white cake with chocolate icing
1 banana
1 tablespoon of peanutbutter

Maybe I should go on that run after all ;-)

Cos Mondays ARE Funny!

******************************

HOW TO TELL YOU ARE MARRIED

Three women, one engaged, one married and one is a mistress. They were chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night all three wore black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes. After a few days they meet up for lunch...

The engaged woman: 'The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.

He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my life. I love you.' Then we made love all night long.'

The mistress: 'Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.'

The married woman: 'I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.'

As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, 'What's for dinner, Batman?'

******************************

From a Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

From a Cat's Daily Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today, I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

******************************

Emotional Extremes

The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes.

"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?"

"Sadness," said the student.

And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.

"Elation," said she.

"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "how about the opposite of woe?"

The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."

Yeehaw!

WW :)

We Are Off To Calgary!

For learning, some fun and hopefully an adventure!

Friday

• Leave the prairies and arrive in Calgary.

Saturday

• Fitness conference, workout until you drop (7am - 9pm), a wonderful dinner *crosses fingers* and BED! Mmmm, my favorite ;)

Sunday

• I get to, for the very first time, EVER, learn how to shoot (hope this is the correct terminology) a bow n arrow. And then, we head home...

Monday

• Back to torturing, erm, teaching fitness classES, a trip to the orthodontist for my wee one, and a glorious sleep!

Have a good one!

And So I've Decided...

To do this:

"Wednesday, September 17, 2008 - Lickable Galore: The Challenge "

Sounds like a challenge, perhaps some fun, and definitely HARD!

I really, really, REALLY like hard ;-)

Thoughts Of A Wogger!

Once Upon A Time:

There was a little girl who just knew she was going to change the world. As she grew, she did indeed change, bringing forth the inevitable, changing of the world.

She evolved, "her" world affected by this evolution. Her innocence effected others beliefs, thoughts and ideals; therefore changing THE world.

This little girl became a woman and this woman continued her quest until she became very tired, drained and completely dried up of emotion. Now a woman, she logically felt she couldn't change THE world, however she could affect "her" world until she became stronger again.

She did this by realizing how life is about one main vein or avenue, your attitude. She, of course knew this all along. But for some reason or another it really hit her hard one morning; her thoughts and beliefs formed her existence. Perhaps her perception was a big part of the deception; however if that was the case, she felt WE ALL SUFFER from this. With her attitude counting on her and only her she admired her puppies.

They greeted her like they hadn't seen her in years, they were always beyond happy to spend time with her, they were ever so grateful for a simple pleasure such as a walk. She began to see, the sunshine a bit brighter, possibly this alone had opened her eyes...

Moral of this story:

Watch out for a middle aged woman who greets you by jumping up on you, licking your face and enthusiastically yelling how happy she is to see you!

Links for those who "need" it:

Dogs!

Puppies!

Hmmm, that can't be right!

Ah, gotcha!

Fitness Tip of the Day!

"80% is simply just showing up!"

Now, get that lazy ass out the door and you're already an A student in any fitness class! Once you're there the other people, friendly faces, torture inducing instructor, endorphins, satisfaction factor all kick in. Allowing pretty much any lame ass to get at least an A+.

Trust me (have I ever steered you wrong),

I KNOW you can do it!

Over and Out, Up and Down, In and Around...

Now gimme 20 MORE!!!!!

WW ;)

Religion - Sexuality - Mystery!

What passes between lips...
I could NOT have given a better "lecture". Preaching, teaching, learning...

Tootles,

WW :)

Inside Voice WW, Inside!

Ever comment without thinking, or perhaps retort not exactly the truth, but it's what you felt, so you deal it out to whomever is stupid enough to stick around?

Yeah, me either ;-)

• My reply to her comment about not seeing a certain woman around, "She's always such a negative grouchy thingy.." INSIDE VOICE!

Uh, she did lose her equally snarly husband this past winter...

• Your 12 year old daughter confiding in you that all the other girls in her grade have their menses; wondering why she has not. You, retorting without a second thought, "They're ugly and dumb, you are not." INSIDE VOICE..

Like THAT has anything to do with all the tea in China, jeez. It, however doesn't change my opinion, SHE IS cuter and smarter ;)

• I hate (them is fighting words) when people EXPECT me to freaking wave to them when I'm running in the morning. I am not some freaking Walmart greeter, I AM doing something, and for sweet baby Jesus sake Look where YOU are going! INSIDE VOICE!

And so today I did wave at a few people, with bright smiling faces. Retards :)

• At a Parkinson's Walk, giving support to friends by mentioning to them that they are not gibbled and will soar far ahead of the others. INSIDE VOICE!

Shake rattle and roll!

• Wondering if pot can be taken any other way other than smoked. AND having your son explain "stuff" to you.. DOUBLE INSIDE VOICES!

Honesty, whether you wanna hear it or not - ugh.

• Have a fitness conference to attend this coming up weekend, in Calgary. I hate those skinny bitches that jump around with plastic smiles, anorexic bodies, spouting off what they "think" think is an overstatement... INSIDE VOICE!

Jealous, for sure. Not about the skinny or the bitches part; hell, how does someone throw up food? Glorious food, I love food, I love eating food, I love, touching food, smelling food, caressing food, making sweet love to food... As for the action of them looking like they actually think, BAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Nope not jealous on that account either! Food, mmm .

Mmmm.

F*ck That!

Garble Goop!

Cos EVERYDAY should be HUMP DAY!

Two heads are better than one, they're double the pleasure babe, triple the fun!

Don't cha think?

WW ....Wooshhhhhhh!

Introducing...

Ooooh look who has joined us!

An introduction to Thor ... his hammer is for me ;-)


Keeping it real, LOL - WW ....Whooooosh!

A Personal Favorite...

For the beautiful...

Made me laugh...

No shit...

Awwww, I might be one of them...

EXACTLY!

Still laughing...

But, but, please?

Enjoy MORE here!

Ugh!

Yes, UGH!
I can see why people take little breaks from blogging, reading blogs, etc.

• UGH - Secrets, identity held back due to... an ex, workmates, safety, blah, blah, blah.
• Over half of the blogs I once read are now no longer in service, like a damn toilet - UGH!
• Same shit to read, men hating "evil" women. How women are horrific, wrong, have hidden agendas, then they're exploited on the very same blog - UGH!
• UGH - Luring sexual advances with names that provoke the most innocent of souls.
• Blogs that show definite racism towards others. Intolerance to anyone EXCEPT themselves and their beliefs - UGH!
• Over zealous blogger peeps thinking what they type is THE BIBLE. When really you're just rambling off shit like everyone else... - UGH!

My goal in blogging is to...

• Read for the mere pleasure of reading someone else's thoughts.
• Not read crap that pisses me off.
• Comment as I choose too; crude humour mostly :)
• Not to take things - comments personally.
• Enjoy, as I once did my time here.

UGH + Ahhhh moments = TADA!

TADA,

WW :)

Mundane Thoughts

• Was introduced to "The Cucumber Sandwich" and absolutely love it! Who would have thought this constituted a real snack choice. I mean, cucumber, bread, wee bit O'butter, salt and pepper... odder shit has happened :)



• Saw a fuzzy caterpillar on my morning run today. First day back running in a week. Between almost dying, migraines, and intense hormonal fluctuations, I'M BAAAACK! Oh, right the caterpillar, named him, "Speedster"... I may see him again, tomorrow, same place, same time. Like a regularly watch television programme ;)



• Husband mentioned, they, "Speedster" and others like him don't taste too good. Uhhh, apparently "someone" told him this. Uh huh.



• First day back teaching an abdominal class, I should feel EVERYTHING tomorrow and the following day. No sneezing or coughing allowed!



• Speaking of classes, my husband is loving his going back to school choice and it shows. He's much more content and shares information he learns with me, well some of it. I love that. I enjoy watching people, being apart of people's happy times :)



• Kids are back at school :) Damon is continuing with his Engineering degree. Samantha has changed venues and is no longer in university, rather she has chosen and was accepted into dental hygiene. Logan only has grade 12 left and the wee Danielle she's with me for a while yet :)



• I'm attending a fitness conference in Calgary on the 19th of this month. Totally pumped to learn NEW boot camp tormenting type exercises, as well, for that balance, some yoga type moves will definitely compliment my morning classes.



• Summer is over; kinda sad really. I enjoy sunshine, clouds, not so much :(



• Cooler weather does eliminate many pesky bugs, mosquitoes, grasshoppers - BE GONE!



• A bit sad to see the squirrel go, however, not wanting to run other people's lives, I'll let him (I'm a generous woman, huh?) find his way. What's that saying? Let it go and if it comes back... blah, blah, blah ;)



• Was chosen to produce the upcoming Valley Players Christmas performance. Now, this should be hilarious for everyone! Will keep you posted...



• Facebook "status" area, I enjoy making up comments for that. Some shocking, some truly honest, some too much to be sharing, it's all good :)



• Wordscraper is now MY MOST FAVORITE GAME EVER. Just so that you know.


• Meatloaf, does anyone screw that up, like ever? I mean, seriously people...

Until I ramble again...

WW :)

An Adventure To Remember!

My four children and I went on an adventure this long weekend past.

Drove about 1800KMs total, there and back.

*By MapQuest's estimated time our trip was 9 hours and 38 minutes one way.

We left at 2:30am Saturday morning, so that I could drive without hassle of any "confusion" amoungst the young people stuffed into the single vehicle. Things were tight, however the excitement of our journey overrode anything else felt in the confined spaces of transport.

Fernie British Columbia our destination of choice.

Our poison, Whitewater Rafting!


Yes, we almost died - LOL! Our raft flipped, I was caught underneath and did EVERYTHING I was not supposed to do. I panicked, I opened my mouth trying to breathe, I couldn't push myself out from under and not keeping my cool didn't allow me time to realize I kept going from one area of the raft into the next, rather than out from under the raft.



Profanity alert:

My first REAL thoughts: "NO WAY, I'M UNDER THE FUCKING RAFT?!" "KIDS, WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY KIDS?" "AIR POCKETS MY ASS!!!!" "GET IT TOGETHER YOU'RE DOING EVERYTHING YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO... YOU WILL MAKE IT!"

And I did.



I looked for Danielle, my 12 year old first, but my breathing was so irregular and panicked I found it hard to concentrate on anything other than sounds. I did hear my eldest Samantha, 20, ask where Logan was, my 17 year old son. So, I knew Damon, 18 was okay and so was the wee one, Danielle. As well, with Sam's panicked tone, I knew she was fine too. THOUGHT: "Whew, everyone lived, now that was an adventure!"



Our guide flipped back over the raft, kids being rescued first, the momma followed, we were wide eyed and shocked at what power the water had over us, all!



I makes for a great story, even a memory that I'm certain will never be forgotten. And, I know I must go again, the girls, not too certain they feel the same.

My boys, they want to go in high season next year - fucktards.



Ugh.

WW :)

PS. I'm pleased I could bring you this post... until we meet again!