Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Humps-A-Lot Wednesday!

Says it all really, now doesn't it?

Word of the Day for Wednesday, October 8, 2008

circumlocution \sir-kuhm-loh-KYOO-shuhn\, noun:

The use of many words to express an idea that might be expressed by few; indirect or roundabout language.

Some fun from Heidi!

The Classic Dames Test

OR

The Classic Leading Man Test

I am... Myrna Loy?!?

You are class itself, the calm, confident “perfect woman.” Men turn and look at you admiringly as you walk down the street, and even your rivals have a grudging respect for you. You always know the right thing to say, do and, of course, wear. You can take charge of a situation when things get out of hand, and you’re a great help to your partner even if they don’t immediately see or know it. You are one classy dame. Your screen partners include William Powell and Cary Grant, you little simmerpot, you.

Monday, October 6, 2008

The Beauty Of Being a Sexy Beast!

PS. I've done that straw manoeuvre... works every time!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

EXTRA, EXTRA Read All About it!

Esthetics Slows Down

I don't get it, perhaps Saskatchewan women enjoy being furry those 9 out of 12 months of the year. Or quite possibly their feet can scrape bed sheets into confetti every season other than summer no questions asked. Summer now that's a funny name for a season which typically is ONLY June/July/August.

Why is "body maintenance" only primary during the warmer weather months?


Like it or Love it:
  • I detest gel finger nails, doing them MORE SO.

  • I have began to embark on enjoying zee acrylic nails much more...

  • Manicures, not to burst any one's bubble on this one but it would take some kinda 'special' not to be able to give decent hand/finger service - job :)

  • Waxing, I'm neurotic and anal enough to do well at this service.

  • Pedicures are my specialty.
I quote, "I had one of her pedicures and I swear it was better than sex!"

Whoa, I don't know who you're sleeping with but, ahem, almost as good as sex, yeah I can live with that :) I have a few clients from as far away as California that actually have cottages around these parts that come by each summer for their annual services.

Hmmm, I will need to seriously look at what I am to do in the form of a job for the remaining months, September to May!


October List Of Shit To Get Done - FINALLY!
  1. Make an appointment with a doctor and follow it up until reoccurring problem has been eradicated!
  2. Make an appointment at the Women's Center for THAT kind of appointment; 12 going on 13 years is too long, oops!
  3. Go to scheduled chiropractic appointment - no excuses.
  4. Set up massage appointments to get my should back into winning action. NOTE TO SELF: No more falling down stairs, or off bikes when mountain biking, dammit!
  5. Have tooth pulled, yeeeeouch :(
  6. Do your darn nails woman - what are you, a construction worker? Sheesh!
  7. Read some more...
  8. Keep smiling.
  9. Laugh until I cry!
  10. Enjoy, everything I've been given!

PS. The last few are the easy ones, mostly ;-)





PPS. What I would do with 1 million dollars for the remainder of 2008:
  • Pay for my kids schooling. They work so darn hard, I would like to alleviate some financial stress for them and have that cost covered - I would expect GREAT successes!
  • Fix up the ole homestead, aka: shack. It's no real surprise to anyone, but I really am not fond of landscaping, home repairs, or even that continual keeping up of the home. Ugh - pay someone to do everything that needs to be done!
  • Plan a simple yet wonderful winter vacation!
  • Firstly, I would make that plastic surgeon's appointment and have these long hanging tube socks, cut, retied and filled up again.
  • Truly, I would like a few lines less noticeable. Yes, seriously, SUCK IT UP, it's my face :)
  • I would also like some lipo done on my thighs. Since having the skin removed around my tummy from my weight loss, my thighs seem bigger... like hiding pigs rolled in blankets big. LOL
Ah, sweet glorious vanity ;-)

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee all the way home,

WW :)

Progression Of Our Laila Ali

Laila Ali, our Boxer crossed with an Elkhound mutt.

She is the little sister (not biologically, obviously) to Bruce Lee our Black Lab crossed with a Rottweiler.

Laila has grown up a lot during her one year of life, seeing these pictures reminded me of how eency she once was.

And what a dork she remains :)

Blessed are those furry little creatures!

They bring such joy and perspective into the most simple of worlds.

Thanks Puppies!


VISITING - 4WEEKS OLD 5WEEKS OLD - HOME

GETTING BIGGER AND CUTER TOO!

WOW, NOW THAT IS ADORABLE - BOTH!

AN ODD LOOKING DOG AT THE BEST OF TIMES - BUT MAN, CAN SHE MAKE YOU SHAKE YOUR HEAD AND SMILE ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

SLEEPING - OR TRYING TO SLEEP

PRESENT DAY - OUR PUPPIES!


Bruce Lee & Laila Ali





Thursday, October 2, 2008

A Wee Attempt At Humour


Relax, I balanced it out...
Sheesh, uptight little crotch rockets!

HNT - Half Nekkid Thursday!


I almost forgot... , spank me already!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Let Us Speak Of The Forbidden


*Note*
This post may (yeah, right, WILL) contain
VERY STRONG graphic sexual content.

Okay, that's all.









Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Your Penis Name!

Cos, I'm mildly retarded, remember?!
I'm...
Pumping Pole of Penile Power!

Monday, September 29, 2008

Monday's Mundane Thoughts


Hmmm, men get so upset, down right flustered at woman. Especially feminist women. Men get riled up over the issues pertaining to unfair divorces, inequality when it comes to potential parenting, why do they ALWAYS get screwed??? Oh, Lord, why???? Ummm, cos what goes around comes around, maybe :)


Don't you think that quite possibly men have screwed themselves over with past actions? I mean, seriously, in the 60's - 70's - 80's wasn't it all too often the chick got shanked when it came to support payments? Men would claim bankruptcy so that they didn't HAVE TO PAY SUPPORT? Uh, yeah, you must have forgot about this.


And don't forget... Didn't men just leave their families, making new ones along the way. These "dads" gladly gave over any paternal rights while decent men, step dads, began this adopting of disregarded children.


Wasn't there a rule about what men could use to "control" their women? Wasn't punishment often physical abuse? AND this was totally acceptable, a norm even?


Seems to me, the past is what's haunting jilted men THESE DAYS. Bitch is a payback.


Men and women are equal. The bibles even states this to be true. We were created in His image. End of discussion.


**********


Why are there certain "roles" one must abide by being born a certain sex when married?


I was born a woman, therefore I am to be nurturing, caring for the children, making meals, cleaning, looking up to and taking care of my husband.


A husband should solely provide, work outside the home, and with love in his heart have the strong hand of discipline on his side.


Gender roles, are they not a combination of several "needs" allotted between a couple, divided up as need be? IE: Perhaps the woman works outside the home; the man nurtures the children at home. Coming to an agreement which suits each union, isn't this marriage?


Thought so.


*********


Responsibility, this seemingly is a reoccurring thought of mine; or therefore the lack of acceptance of such a term.


Your life sucks. Figure it out.


Someone makes you (love that one) feel. Naw, I'm inclined to disagree. You choose to feel, and yes others can affect your feelings. Ultimately however, you feel as you choose to feel.


I suffer. You're a victim and need to figure out shit, ASAP.


Why me? Why not you, what makes you so special that you don't need some faith practises thrown your way?


I can't. Oh, okay, you can't.


What I can do is... tell you about what I admire in you, spend time with you, tell you what you mean to me, show you my feelings. I'm afraid the rest (the hard stuff) is pretty much up to you.


*********


Why are women chastised over gradual weight gain; whereas men don't ever look as they did 20 year their junior?


No one "likes" abortion. Right?


Why do dogs roll in shit from other animals when they're let off a leash to run freely. They don't "blend" into anything once they're back on the leash.


Who can hold out their arms whilst sitting on the floor, not propped up against any walls etc and hold their arms in this position for a minimum on 5 minutes? No stretching in between, no letting them fall, even if for a brief moment, holding...holding...holding. Who knows why this IS important?


I'm almost maxed out of push ups I can do in one sitting, in a row, without wanting to scream profanities. Yes, I have previous injuries, and yes this IS an excuse. I suck it up every day. I just am not sure about what the future holds for me and the push ups. *give me strength, please* PS. Erik you suck :)


Roast chicken is for supper tonight, the smell lingers and mmmm, mmmm, mmmm I'm looking forward to filling my tummy after class!


I just ate a healthy snack WITH a thick layer of creamy icing from a can, DOH! I believe my choices, due to my lack of responsibility ;-) may have earned me a few more exercises tonight. Ugh, who am I kidding, it was SO FLUCKING WORTH EVERY BLISSFUL MORSEL OF CHEWY CREAMY GOODNESS. Ahhh.


Need to lose weight? Eat less. Want to be a bit healthier? Exercise. A winning combination :)


Until I bulge again,


WW ;)


Friday, September 26, 2008

Wonder Woman is...

Wonder Woman is constipated AND pmsing.

Are You a People Pleaser?




A Giver and a Taker

Looking out for number one is often your motto. You have very few symptoms of the "Disease to Please"! It's not that you disregard others' feelings -- you just make sure that your own needs are met first. If someone has to sacrifice, it most likely won't be you! Looking out for yourself is definitely important, and you do it well. Speaking the truth and enjoying yourself to the fullest reveal a sense of self-confidence. But make sure that your confidence doesn't stray into cockiness. Look out for yourself, but don't neglect others in the process. It's clear that you are willing to compromise, which is a necessary component of any healthy relationship. So, continue to take care of you - but make sure that you fit other people into your list of "things to think about."
  • Hmmm, I believe perhaps the analysis on how I answered the provided questions are relevant regarding one's age more so than anything else. As you mature you change, as you change you make the inevitable - different choices.

With age brings... elongated tits!

  • I was a definite people pleaser in the past, often due to fear.

I'm no longer frightened of... the boogie man taking away my birthday!

  • I do my best more often than not, living my life in a healthy and productive way. I love with all my heart. I respect individual thoughts and beliefs. I trust those who earn that from me. Just don't fuck with me :)

I enjoy being... a SUPER HERO!

Take care out there and hug someone randomly today AND if you don't get punched or get brought up on assault charges, YAY YOU!

Gloriously Me ;)

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Half-Assed Wednesday

The absolute BEST day of the week,
the day of maximum hope that maybe,
you might make it out of this week alive.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Tuesday is Pajama Day!

Yup, no run took place.

With that, smart cooking was inevitable, veggies for lunch. Yuck. Hey, it's all about choices :) That is why I run. *shudders* A huge plate of steamed broccoli. And you thought you were having a day, pffft...

Now, I believe today is an official pajama day. I like the sound of that, relax, rest, twiddle about. We all need days like I'm experiencing today, especially without illness. When one is not feeling well it's just not the same type of appreciation for the day. To be well, mind - body - soul, ahhh.

I have also prepared lunch, and pre prepared supper for later, done the dishes, folded laundry, and played with the pups, helped with homework, made my move on Wordscraper, been made aware that I worked out my shoulders in a big way yesterday, checked emails, read blogs commenting as needed, noticed the influx of flies buzzing around and smiled about 14 billion times.

All before noon!

As my world turns...
WW ;)

Update: I did bathe then shower, shaved and change into clean fresh pajamas, thought of an idea for an animated story about a most annoying little nose hair located in the the left nostril to the back a bit, folded more laundry, engaged in Wordscraper LIVE, denied myself a slice of cake, changed my wacky answering machine message, and smiled yet again about 16 billion times, this time.

Quite possibly, TO BE CONTINUED...

A Game For The Noodle

Click the numbers beginning with the least value number moving up to the greatest value number in sequence.. 1, 2, 3 etc.


It gives you a score. I don't know what score is "good". But it had my ADHD ass hooked for a few minutes!


TRY IT!

Another ...

UPDATE: Apparently the lower the number the better, I can't seem to get past 22!

Breakfast Of Champions

1 "top of" a slice of white cake with chocolate icing
1 banana
1 tablespoon of peanutbutter

Maybe I should go on that run after all ;-)

Monday, September 22, 2008

Cos Mondays ARE Funny!

******************************
HOW TO TELL YOU ARE MARRIED

Three women, one engaged, one married and one is a mistress. They were chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night all three wore black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes. After a few days they meet up for lunch...


The engaged woman: 'The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.


He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my life. I love you.' Then we made love all night long.'


The mistress: 'Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.'


The married woman: 'I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.'


As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, 'What's for dinner, Batman?'

******************************


From a Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

From a Cat's Daily Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today, I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

******************************


Emotional Extremes

The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes.

"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?"

"Sadness," said the student.

And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.

"Elation," said she.

"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "how about the opposite of woe?"

The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."

Yeehaw!

WW :)




Thursday, September 18, 2008

We Are Off To Calgary!

For learning, some fun and hopefully an adventure!

Friday


  • Leave the prairies and arrive in Calgary.
Saturday


  • Fitness conference, workout until you drop (7am - 9pm), a wonderful dinner *crosses fingers* and BED! Mmmm, my favorite ;)
Sunday


  • I get to, for the very first time, EVER, learn how to shoot (hope this is the correct terminology) a bow n arrow. And then, we head home...
Monday


  • Back to torturing, erm, teaching fitness classES, a trip to the orthodontist for my wee one, and a glorious sleep!

Have a good one!

And So I've Decided...

To do this:
"Wednesday, September 17, 2008 - Lickable Galore: The Challenge "
Sounds like a challenge, perhaps some fun, and definitely HARD!
I really, really, REALLY like hard ;-)

Thoughts Of A Wogger!

Once Upon A Time:

There was a little girl who just knew she was going to change the world. As she grew, she did indeed change, bringing forth the inevitable, changing of the world.

She evolved, "her" world affected by this evolution. Her innocence effected others beliefs, thoughts and ideals; therefore changing THE world.

This little girl became a woman and this woman continued her quest until she became very tired, drained and completely dried up of emotion. Now a woman, she logically felt she couldn't change THE world, however she could affect "her" world until she became stronger again.

She did this by realizing how life is about one main vein or avenue, your attitude. She, of course knew this all along. But for some reason or another it really hit her hard one morning; her thoughts and beliefs formed her existence. Perhaps her perception was a big part of the deception; however if that was the case, she felt WE ALL SUFFER from this. With her attitude counting on her and only her she admired her puppies.

They greeted her like they hadn't seen her in years, they were always beyond happy to spend time with her, they were ever so grateful for a simple pleasure such as a walk. She began to see, the sunshine a bit brighter, possibly this alone had opened her eyes...

Moral of this story:

Watch out for a middle aged woman who greets you by jumping up on you, licking your face and enthusiastically yelling how happy she is to see you!

Links for those who "need" it:

Dogs!

Puppies!

Hmmm, that can't be right!

Ah, gotcha!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Fitness Tip of the Day!

"80% is simply just showing up!"
Now, get that lazy ass out the door and you're already an A student in any fitness class! Once you're there the other people, friendly faces, torture inducing instructor, endorphins, satisfaction factor all kick in. Allowing pretty much any lame ass to get at least an A+.
I KNOW you can do it!
Over and Out, Up and Down, In and Around...
Now gimme 20 MORE!!!!!
WW ;)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Religion - Sexuality - Mystery!

What passes between lips...
I could NOT have given a better "lecture". Preaching, teaching, learning...

Tootles,

WW :)

Monday, September 15, 2008


Inside Voice WW, Inside!

Ever comment without thinking, or perhaps retort not exactly the truth, but it's what you felt, so you deal it out to whomever is stupid enough to stick around?

Yeah, me either ;-)

Uh, she did lose her equally snarly husband this past winter...


Like THAT has anything to do with all the tea in China, jeez. It, however doesn't change my opinion, SHE IS cuter and smarter ;)

And so today I did wave at a few people, with bright smiling faces. Retards :)

Shake rattle and roll!

Honesty, whether you wanna hear it or not - ugh.

Jealous, for sure. Not about the skinny or the bitches part; hell, how does someone throw up food? Glorious food, I love food, I love eating food, I love, touching food, smelling food, caressing food, making sweet love to food... As for the action of them looking like they actually think, BAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Nope not jealous on that account either! Food, mmm .

Mmmm.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

F*ck That!



Garble Goop!

Cos EVERYDAY should be HUMP DAY!
Two heads are better than one, they're double the pleasure babe, triple the fun!
Don't cha think?
WW ....Wooshhhhhhh!