Thursday, July 26, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
Married Life Thus Far...
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Humour, Albeit, SICK Humour!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Thought For Today!
Handle every situation like a dog.
If you can't Eat it or Screw it.
Piss on it and Walk Away.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Titillating Tuesday!
Monday, July 16, 2007
True Story from Houston Medical Center: A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis. According to the Nurse attending, the patient's girl friend found the ring in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep. I don't know what's worse...
1) Having your girl friend find out you're married.
2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your penis.
3) Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Confession
Definition: Confession is a written or oral acknowledgment of guilt by a party accused of an offense.
My offense: Bliss, obtained through teaching fitness classes.
My confession: Suffering Sappho!
I'm sore, I hurt, I suffer as all of you before me have suffered. My biceps AND triceps ache. My abs continually remind me, they're present. My quads and glutes scream out as I attempt to go downstairs, or get up from off of the toilet. (I drank much less water today, knowing HOW MUCH I HURT trying to get up off the porcelain bowl.)
Wednesday was the second class that I've participated in since my surgery. So, that would be about three months, LONG ago. However, I have the energy and I "gave er" yesterday during fitness class. Today, I am humble.
AND sore ;)
Thursday's Helpful Hint
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Welcome Wednesday - BRING IT ON!
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Because I'm A Man....
Because I'm a man , when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.
__________________
Because I'm a man , when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.
_________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase only basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing.
________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
______________________________________
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator instead (applies to engineers only)
________________________________________
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when you ask, so just don't ask.
_________________________________
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't . . and if you are feeling amorous afterwards . then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
_____________________________________
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. It does not make your butt look too big. It was the pasta and potatoes and margaritas that did that. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
_____________________________________
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2007, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest. Like wandering around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do.
__________________________________________
This has been a public service message for women to better understand men!
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Wow! This Guy Sucks...
Riiiight, that's why ;)
PS. That dude above is referred to as the "Fitness Ranger". Address him appropriately, please :)
Monday, July 2, 2007
A Woman
This is written in the Hebrew Talmud, the book where all of the sayings and preaching of Rabbis are conserved over time.
It says: "Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved."
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Wedding Bliss
Wedding Bliss - The social event at which the ceremony of marriage is performed. In a blissful state, in paradise; in raptures, in ecstasies.
Bring sun screen, a towel, your bathing suit, and a smile!
Katepwa Point Provincial Park: