Magical Monday?

Blathering, again...

• Little woman "got" lice last week. A beautifully wise woman put the whole episode into perspective with this very comment, "she's a kid, and she has friends, that's a good thing"...

• She IS right.

• Lice however is most tedious, annoying and time consuming - ARGH!

• And hopefully gone, now.

• Was presented a most glorious, goddess like ring Saturday - it's gorgeous!

• My wee little Sis is moving to lovely Victoria, beginning a new job, and life shortly. Although I will miss her SO FREAKING much, I wish for her everything wondrously fabulous as she does deserve. My sister is an intelligent, witty, fun loving, personable, compassionate, ravishingly exquisite human being. I love you J!

• Now, to plan a trip to stunning Victoria ;)

• Boys went to S'Toon (with their peers) this past weekend, how scary is that? They're growing up and I better be ready for it - NOW!

• Am interested in going back to school. I would like to pursue a career in chiropody/podiatry. I have been searching for schools regarding this specific study and have found only overseas institutions and have heard of one such "school" in Chicago. Any help is mucho appreciated peeps, if you have any information, a contact person, etc... THANK YOU!

• Soooo, as it stands my goals are...

1. Register for night classes, take some high school classes I neglected to take when I was a wee lassie. IE: Chemistry.
2. Sign up to take a certification course of some kind (perhaps gel nails) during my days off currently.
3. Look at what it is I need to get into chiropody/podiatry. See if Saskatchewan Health will aid my educational experience providing I return to work within Saskatchewan.

• And following my New Years goals, worry less, relax more, breathe...

• I need a good nights sleep.

• I need to heal so that I can return back to the gym, soon.

• I need to breathe...

Breathing...

Good night :)

The Musical Fruit...

• CONDOMS!
• "Start sex on the right key with musical condoms"
• By James Pomfret
• HONG KONG, Jan 19 - Forget chocolates or roses this
  Valentine's Day" a gift of musical condoms is bound to be more entertaining.
• Hong Kong's Ondo Creation, which makes designer condoms, hopes its Idom sheathes will put a more romantic spin on safe sex -- and reduce the risk of a slap on the face that a pack of six might elicit among some conservative Asians.
• 
  The Idom itself doesn't sing -- but the mint, strawberry, chocolate and banana flavored condoms come in an attractive package with a music CD to get you in the mood for love.
  "We create an environment for lovers who would like to try a different experience," said Victor Tsang who runs Ondo Creation.
• 
  "We try to create products that are not embarrassing, but very trendy and hip. It's a lifestyle product," he added.
• 
  Cynics may scoff at the marketing gloss, but the 18 month start-up's products sell across the world. The firm also won a bronze medal in the Industrial Design Excellence Awards run in conjunction with BusinessWeek magazine, which said Ondo had managed to "revitalize the image of condoms."
• 
  Tsang, a former IT executive, says his product was inspired by a desire to promote safe sex and to provide a fun, relaxed alternative for what he calls "more conservative" customers.
• 
  The brand eschews regular prophylactic distributors, instead peddling its wares in bookstores, record shops and trendy nightspots in a long list of cities that includes Hong Kong, London, Paris, Stockholm, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Singapore.
• 
  "We're targeting more lifestyle stores, rather than 7-11's and pharmacies," said Tsang.
  "There's a market gap in the condom industry that we may be able to make fun -- and also penetrate," said Tsang who expected a 30 percent surge in sales ahead of Valentine's Day.
  The Idom's Exotica, Chocotasy and Loveberry brands come with CD compilations of chillout, acid jazz and dance music.
• 
  "The music starts slow, then medium, then becomes fast before getting slow again," said Jack Wong, who helped with the music.
• 
  He shrugs off the fact that the CDs run for exactly 18 minutes: "Whether this is long enough or not, really depends on the individual."

Wink, wink...

Rules, The Wake Up Call, Answered!

• Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!
• Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
• Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
• Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
• Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity . Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
• Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
• Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
• Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
• Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
• Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
• Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Pesky Squirrels

• There were Five country churches in a small TEXAS town:The Presbyterian Church , the Baptist Church , the Methodist Church, the Catholic Churchand the Jewish Synagogue. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels .
• 
  
• One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to doabout the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they Determined that thesquirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will...
• 
  In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery.The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it.The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.
• 
  
• The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a positionto harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and setthem free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
• 
  
• But -- The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution.They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church.Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
• 
  
• Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, but they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision, and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.

MAXINE

• Maxine on Driver Safety...

"I can't use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures."

• Maxine on Life...

"Life is like an oven. It burns my a**!"

• Maxine on Housework...

"I do my housework in the nude. It gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible."

• Maxine on Lawn Care...

"The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless."

• Maxine on The Perfect Man...

"All I'm looking for is a guy who'll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed."

• Maxine on Technology Revolution...

"My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice."

• Maxine on Aging...

"Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a Margarita."

Mundane, Random Reflections

Aaahhh... reflections, let me see - let me dig deep :)

• Firstly, I love deep ;-)

• Secondly, PMS, sucks donkey dick.

"Premenstrual Syndrome: PMS is a disorder characterized by a set of hormonal changes that trigger disruptive symptoms in a significant number of women for up to two weeks prior to menstruation. Of the estimated 40 million suffers, more than 5 million require medical treatment for marked mood and behavioral changes. Often symptoms tend to taper off with menstruation and women remain symptom-free until the two weeks or so prior to the next menstrual period. These regularly recurring symptoms from ovulation until menses typify PMS, premenstrual syndrome."

• Boys are into finals, aka: home a lot this week, and it's been nice (so far).

• A bit bummed out due to a slight physical challenge "plantar fasciitis".

Definition: Plantar fasciitis is an inflamed, fibrous band of tissue (fascia) connecting your heel bone to the base of your toes.

It is painful. Annoying. Constant. And as it seems, slow healing, no pun intended.

• Happy thoughts are conducive, refocusing now.

• I PICKED OUT A RING! It's gorgeous, it's simple, it's pink, it's Goddess like, it IS ... perfect!

The Date: Saturday July 7th, 2007 at 11am on the beach.

• Daughter found a job and is working part time whilst attending university this semester - yay her!

• Auditioned for a play last week, and call backs are tonight - wish me luck, I DO need it ;)

• Thinking of applying at West Jet; ticket agents get great deals on flights. I miss the travelling experience mucho.

• I like tacky. And that's absolutely okay!

• How do you end random blathering? It keeps popping up once you've hopped onto that one lane express way to nothingness...

THE END!

• PS. That's how!

AMEN!

DANGIT! How sweet would that feel, huh?

Hope your day went swimmingly!

OUT,

WW

Yes, What If???

My End - 2006!

Big Sis, Lil Sista!

Momma confused, son knowing...

Camera Phone!

Smiles, laughter, time with people you adore and love - what a absolutely blessed way to end a equally treasured year AND THEN to begin the next, side by side with these crazy creatures...

LOOK OUT!

Butt, whyy, per...

50 Tips!

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards eve ry month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't sa ve it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile an d saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

I will keep number 46 in mind, for those "days"...

Sent to me from a Goddess...

Random Thought - Just One :)

How freaking amazing are these heavenly mounds of pure unadulterated ecstasy?

VERY!

The state of being beyond reason and self-control an overwhelming emotional response - rapturous delight!

One thought only: the unabashed brazen gratification bestowed upon me from this "chocolate bar" possesses my every impulse, emotionally kept, sheer force of will, no longer...

Intense exaltation of mind and feelings.

'Reese Big Cups'

You are...

For you Pabsters!

and,

Nuttier than a squirrel's turd!

Let us pretend that anyone could be this cute...