MAXINE

• Maxine on Driver Safety...

"I can't use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures."

• Maxine on Life...

"Life is like an oven. It burns my a**!"

• Maxine on Housework...

"I do my housework in the nude. It gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible."

• Maxine on Lawn Care...

"The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless."

• Maxine on The Perfect Man...

"All I'm looking for is a guy who'll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed."

• Maxine on Technology Revolution...

"My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice."

• Maxine on Aging...

"Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a Margarita."