Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Simply Odd

  • This is the song that never ends, it goes on and on my friends. Some people started singing it not knowing what was, but they continued singing it, forever, just because... This is the song that never ends, it goes on and on my friends. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was, but they continued singing it, forever, just because...


  • I relish the annoying.


  • A woman is like a tea bag... YOU DON'T KNOW HOW STRONG SHE IS UNTIL YOU PUT HER IN HOT WATER! - I like that one.


  • Worry looks around, sorry looks back, faith looks up. - Another goody.


  • ICE CREAM, CHOCOLATE AND PEANUT BUTTER, Oh My!


  • Sensible strength training may be one of the best ways to get relief from your arthritis. Not only will it help to lubricate and nourish the joint, strength training will also strengthen the muscles around the joint, providing it with greater support.


  • Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips .




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  • The Things I've learned NOT to do, whilst being off work (2006)


1) Do NOT tweeze, cut or in any way shape your brows with too much time on your hands.


2) Do NOT attempt to give your hairstyle a "fresh" new approach to life. Do NOT give yourself, by yourself, bangs under any circumstances known to womankind. Hairdressers are trained, you're not. STAY AWAY FROM YOUR HAIR!

3) Do NOT eat Dairy Queen Buster Bars for breakfast and then make excuses to yourself for your choice. Ice cream is NOT an okay calcium substitute for the day.

4) Renovations are to be done in moderation. Just because a wall looks a bit "off" to you at this moment in time does NOT allow you to tear apart, rip down and demolish erect and rather useful areas of your home.

5) No, you can NOT rewire the darn furnace fan box, sheesh!



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  • Senior Dress Code

Many of you "Old Folks" (those over 50, WAY over 50, or hovering near 50) are quite confused about how you should present yourself.

You are unsure about the kind of image you are projecting and whether or not you are correct as you try to conform to current fashions.

Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikini's and liver sports
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. In line skates and a walker


13. Thongs and Depends


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  • If "mancation" is a new word so must be "chication" or "wocation" or "babecation", right?


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