Don't F@ck With Me B-Word!

Bravery is the capacity to perform properly even when scared half to death.

~ Omar Bradley

Situations arise in everyone's lives every once and a while and sometimes it's a bit tricky how to handle them .. fairly. If there is truly a "fair" way.

I have a situation. I have choices to make. It's not pretty. This someone would get fired and possibly sued. The someone is my daughter's boyfriend's mom. Nice, eh?

I am a black and white person. It's illegal or not illegal. It's right or wrong. I am a straight shooter, which I am sure you get, if you read my blog, ever.
Therefore, to be true, honest, just, fair, is a yes/no dealio ...
I am who I am and I like me - so neener if ya don't :p

A person with authority, authoritative rights, power .. have a certain responsibility to not be corrupt and walk over that fine line, regardless of their "feelings".

IE: My son once asked me if I would turn him in for marijuana if I became a police officer (kids love to play the "what if" game). I answered truthfully. Yes. Yes, I would. It's illegal. Don't flaunt it in front of an officer of the law, you will get fined. The end.

He had a pretty good idea of my moral / ethical side. Do I agree with the law? No, not always. Do I have to? Nope. If I disagree strongly, I need to stand up for what I believe to true, honest, just, fair :) Or lay back and let shit happen as it will happen. Oh lookie, another black/white, yes/no, do or not way of thinking..

Years ago I was presented with a great opportunity when a "what if" question was asked to me. A "what if" question from a taller than myself, pissed right off at me, teenage boy being raised by a single parent mother.
The question was "What would you do if I hit you right now?"..

He was yelling, and towering over me. I KNEW THIS WAS A CRITICAL opportunity. I want the best for my children and with that RESPONSIBILITY is so flicking huge.

I looked up at him, in a calm voice (from deep within my soul I found that calm woman) and said sternly serious, "I would phone the police."

My son was befuddled and then retorted weirdly quizzical yet still quite angry, "You would do that to your own son?"

I, again, answered, "You would hit your own mom?"

The end. A lesson was taught. Tolerant behavior. What is right, what is wrong. I can not control how life is going to treat my children or what they do to achieve happiness this lifetime. I can control and take VERY seriously my mother role. I want the best for them, consequences and all.

No regrets, all learning opportunities. The phrases we repeat to our children, impact how, who and what they become.
Don't we have numerous sayings that we've spoken over and over to our children? They're almost countless and truly PRICELESS. Our children are oddly defined by who WE are. Who we choose to be. It's a kid thing. You watch your parents and you know how to behave or how not to behave. Keeping up a appearances, walking the walk, talking the talk, is what a decent parent does. It's a NEED for healthy development in any child.
***
SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP.
Move on.
Be nice.
Would you choose to do that if you saw me?
Respect is given, trust is earned.
I, your mother, love you more than anyone in this whole entire world; I deserve honesty, whether I like what I will hear or not.
I will ALWAYS love you.
You ARE a blessing.
Do or do not. There is no try.
'I can't' is not an option.
You are a good person.
You make your destiny.
Don't complain, CHANGE IT!
Find the funny.. in everything.
Smile.
No regrets.
Learn. And if you don't the first time - it will be repeated for you until you do.
You are my everything.
***

By sharing with our young people, far too early (not yet an adult-cub of yours) experiences that are unhealthy, choices which possibly were dangerous, or past consequences - you roll the dice on how your child will process the information.
Again, once a child is an adult, little pieces can and do help your adult cub understand how life isn't fair, the result to choices, consequences for poor actions, etc.. Until adult-cub-hood, however this data is TOO MUCH for a naive mind. It just is. They feel like they're meant to disappoint, instructed to screw up, or worse yet, not capable or even motivated to be "good".. So sad.


Interesting it is then that Ms. C, I shall call her BROKE the law. Caused my child huge suffering and pain and yet I debate filing the complaint thus not getting her fired. I mull in my head what's right.
What's right is someone, especially an adult NOT HURTING AN INNOCENT CHILD!
Stupid B-word, I am so upset. She seriously can not think I won't do something or does she really believe she did nothing wrong, that her actions are justified because she felt she was protecting her child? What she did was ILLEGAL. She could be sued for heaven's sake. And yet, I sit, perplexed and calm-ish (LOL) trying to establish a true outcome from such a horrible experience.

Do I want it all taken away, erase the slate? Yeah, that would be nice. However, it is, what it is. My lil woman is smart enough and has enough back up and support she will get thru it. Now, to give her back something that was taken from her at such a young age - "There are lots of good people out there.." Wow, if a fellow mother sucks as a human being THAT badly, how do I give my wee girl back some of the faith lost that day?

Plea bargain, for an apology, face to face, with me present, in a location of my choosing.. Could this be the win/win my heart keeps searching for?

And why do people think they can f@ck with me? Because I am genuine and kind? Nice people just carry on carrying on without making a ruckus? Pfft, bull effing sh!t. Caring strong loving capable moms make things happen - and you probably don't wanna get on their "bad" side. Cos, the law - is - the law.

Grrrr..

... *sucks it up*
And as a momma, I pick up the pieces, get out the ole glue stick called love and mend her heart, her feelings, her idea of what is and what isn't, back into one piece.
I share with her a good story about someone she loves. A true story that warms her again. This true account makes her see how it isn't always as it seems. That good hearts sometimes make mistakes. That a choice never needs to be regretted, but learned from. Despite factual information on a private system, she knows, she feels, she is apart of something most beautiful. That SHE IS BEAUTIFUL.
... *rolling down my eyes, cheeks, into my mouth and across my make up face.. tears, omg, so many tears* ...

My dear sweet beautiful baby girl, I love you so very much. I am sorry you have to go through this. I am apologizing for this unfortunate event. I hurt more than you will ever know ~ until one day when you become a mom. I would never want to take this occasion away from you, you have learned something valuable. A life lesson. And I know how hard it is, truly I do, my precious lil one. We have cried. We have forgiven. Let's move on, slowly, forward, together... I am here when you need me. I am around when you fall. My hugs are free. My love unconditional. My heart full :)



Wonder Grrr Woman xo

PS. I do not want comments on whether you agree or disagree with me and my thought choices. I am rambling and writing to figure it out - I DO NOT WANT HELP. It is my job. I am worthy. I am capable. I am willing and strong.
Your "feelings" or even logical conclusions based on facts and studies will "make me" delete you. Do NOT fluck with me.
You may, If you would please, hold my hand along this journey and I do thank YOU!

Passive inaction is a way towards taking some kind of action,
without the satisfaction of having acted :)

UPDATE: Waiting is a virtue; Christmas is upon us. And frankly I AM a better person than she, I will wait for this life lesson...