My Journey - Journal...

That darn D-Word. Or was I simply just a little down? People have ups and downs, I'm assured by friends and family (even the occasional therapist). My downs, are dark, deep, scary places lasting for days, weeks, and if I'm not too careful months. With the support of people that really do seem to care, I'm back :)

At the beginning of April I decided to take control of my life again. With this goal set forth before me, it was inevitable that the dreaded "change" thing was going to have to happen. It did. Happen, that is :)

• My classes changed.

- I teach 10 classes per week, three of these are an early morning learn to run group which really has my spirits lifted! My stability ball class is more about balance and stuff that's new to me - hard for me to do. I'm having such a learning blast, feeling muscles I forgot I had! I was once at 8lb weights in class (most women use a 2lb, 3lb or at most 5lb weights) I was down to a 3lb weight, and still the energy wasn't available for me to use. I'm up to the 5lbs again and sometimes the 8lbs ;) It feel glorious - are those angels in heaven that I hear?

• I have begun running again.

Even on the days I don't teach. MY run days. For me, and only me. I allow one day off a week whereas I typically have a pajama day - yay!

I hate running. LOL - A lot. But for my mind, running is like therapy for my spirits; they soar after accomplishing the run. Sometimes, I work through shit. Often, I just concentrate on running, moving my feet forward, not giving up, breathing, and of course the most important aspect of the run, a smile :) Cheesy? Yeah, but it works for me! Seriously, when my run is over life seems clearer; the clouds part allowing the warm sunshine upon me and for the rest of my day.

• I weighed myself.

Last time I did this was right before surgery two years ago. I knew I was up. And I was. This knowledge didn't send me over the edge, rather the knowing has allowed me the courage to take some control back in regards to my eating behaviours. It's all good. And if I ever decide to make a fitness/running clothing line, I want the name to be "Chunky Monkey Gear"... Has a definite cute ring to it, no?

• I am keeping a journal according to my:

1. Sleep patterns.


2. Emotional status.


3. Fitness fun.


4. Food choices.

One of my journal endings went something like this,

"I'm dying and starving to death!"

I wasn't. I felt like I was. I wrote it down. I laughed. I shared it with others and made them laugh. I succeeded in doing what was needing to be done.

I'm like an indestructible bug ;)

• I haven't been watching television very much at all.

Perhaps an hour a week? Yeah, one program a week sounds about right. I, however have been reading - my escape from reality. And loving it!

In recent news:

Easter was fantastic. All four kidlettes were home Friday night, we did dinner/supper that evening. The Saturday our Easter bunny came (she got up at 3am to hide approximately 100 eggs - Mr. Bunny helped too) all the kids, 20, 19, 18, 13 hunted for the darn eggs! And then we made a big breakfast enjoying having everyone around for the last time for a while... truly a blessed weekend :)

This weeks it is little monkey butt's birthday (turned 13).

Next week my sexy handsome husband's birthday is on for Monday.

And the following week after his mine appears before my very eyes. I'll be 39, what a weird age. It feels odd just typing it ;-)

Hmmm, my life isn't really THAT exciting, but I'm okay with it, totally!

My blessings:

- a husband who loves me and treats me like a princess all depending on the costume ;-)

- four kids managing their way through life the best they can, learning so much all the time

- family support and love reaching out to me always

- a gaggle of well meaning, caring people around for me when I need them

- life, happiness, feeling good, allowing myself a cry when is needed (twice a year would be ample), feeling like I truly do matter

- etc...

Until next time - enjoy!

WW :)