PMSing, Dear Lord Give Me Strength!

What's the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

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Why is it called PMS?
A: Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken

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PMS Light Bulb Joke

How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS.

But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE RUBBISH!!

IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF RUBBISH THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS...

I'm sorry... what did you ask me?

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On the light side, I have always enjoyed this one...

A woman went to a doctor and said, "Doctor, I have a problem, every time I sneeze I have an orgasm!"
The doctor said,"Oh really, what have you been doing for it?"
The woman replied, "Snorting pepper!"

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Yesssssssssssssssssssssss, what an amazingly wise woman! And I feel better already!

Have fun, be safe and use your manners!